Many say (especially in the writing world, and usually associated with getting agents, publishers, or life-changing advances) that we should keep our expectations low. “Realistic.”
I disagree with that!
I feel that if we don’t keep our expectations high, we don’t reach.
We don’t grow.
I believe that, yes, we understand things may or may not happen for whatever reason(s)…but if you want something, truly want it…why shouldn’t we keep our expectations high?
What does “keep oneself ‘grounded in reality'” mean? What reality? If our reality is not what we want it to be–why the hell would we want to remain “grounded” in it?
Why should expectations be reigned in–be so controlled?
I don’t think all the energy associated with expectations is meant to be stomped into the ground and stifled. Pushed down beneath so many layers of anyone else’s so-called “reality” and I suck and will never go anywhere. I believe expectations are meant to be released, given free–exuberant–expression!
Whether or not the object of our expectations pan out is another matter. I feel that whether or not our objects-of-expectation materialize is based upon our beliefs, when is the best time for them to materialize, or any of a number of other factors of which we may or may not have any idea. That there are things going on in the background that we may or may not entirely understand that directly affects said goal manifestion…but that does not mean we shouldn’t express our expectations in a manner deserving of them!
I certainly don’t want to remain “grounded in reality” when it comes to not attaining any goals I’m striving for. Expectations are not wasted nor useless efforts or energy, but should be used to help propel us toward our goals! Give us hope. The energy to sustain our quest (our journey!) for our goals. Note how athletes get psyched up for events:
We’re gonna kick your ass!
I’m gonna move a ton of weight!
We’re gonna take that Superbowl!
Isn’t that all just another muscled-up way of ramping up one’s expectations?
The goal of goals should be in the journey, not necessarily in just the attaining of goals! Whether or not we get our books published, our scripts produced, or our Superbowls won isn’t necessarily the point. It’s about taking the road to bettering our lives. Improving our abilities. The point should also be in having excitement for life…for the things we want to do (though we don’t all express “excitement” in the same way)! To being happy in our every day life, whether or not we get everything we think we want, and not to be pinned or stomped down by negativity and pessimism…nor grounded in realities we want to change.
Well, that’s my perspective, anyway…it’s what I expect.
Thank you for sharing. I agree with a lot of your thoughts.
Thank you for stopping by! :-]
I agree with you. If I believed in ‘realistic’ goals, I doubt I would have been so determined to get my first book published. That didn’t mean that I stopped writing other things and focussed only on that one piece of work. It means that I felt this particular novel was the best of my repertoire, which had been given positive feedback (a first!) from my writer’s group. As a result, I had the confidence to pursue publication. I continue to write as my muse moves me and I truly believe I will get my other stuff published, although that might take time and a different publisher because they are of a different genre than my previous work. I think the keys to a person achieving their goals is self-confidence, self-improvement and perseverance. The motto ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again’ is something I truly believe and, so far, it’s paid off.
Way to go! Keep the positive attitude–and I wish you all the best of success! Thanks for stopping by!
Do they really say keep the expectations low? I hear more often about affirmations…tape on your mirror, “I’m a great writer, someone will notice and buy my book” etc. Instead of keep the expectations low, I think I hear it is a tough business, a long apprenticeship and the only ones guaranteed to fail are those who give up. Optimism keeps the work fun. Writing for the sake of writing also keeps it fun. these days you don’t have to keep expectation low. There are abundant ways to self publish and succeed that way. Glad you are staying positive Frank. Best, Karen
Hey, Karen, and same to you!
I’d just read something somewhere online/in a paper last week about “keeping expectations low” when waiting for an agent’s reply/pub advance or something, so, yeah, it’s still out there. I think it’s mainly for the more traditionally minded folk (which would kinda make sense, right?), but many are–as you say–keeping their chins up! It was reading that above line when I had the idea for this post. I’m also reminded of the Taylor Swift lyrics about how people throw rocks at things that shine, and as I was also just reading in King’s 11/22/63 a character who asked “Why do people do that to gifted people?”, about tearing people down when they do so well at something…or are different. I guess some are jealous at new blood, at those still trying to be good at something (versus giving up and being negative), or any of a myriad of other reasons only they know, deep down inside….
Ignore the negative–accentuate the positive!