F. P. Dorchak

Speculative Fiction (New Weird) Author

Creativity

Creativity and Angst

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Here’s the transcript, if you don’t want to sit through the 20-minute video: http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius/transcript?language=en

This is something I have thought about off and on over the years. Why is it that creative types seem more messed up than your average person? And that many seem to wear said angst like a Red Badge of Courage? Why, as Elizabeth Gilbert points out, do so many of us take our own lives? But, I’ve also wondered, why is it that many don’t want or like to take credit for the work they produce…or can’t handle that they are responsible for the work they produce? That they instead prefer to think of themselves as “vessels” for creativity that some formless Muse (or d/Deity) instead produces?

A friend of mine sent me the above Ted link (thanks, Mandy!), and as I listened to this Famous Author, I at first couldn’t help to be amazed at the lack of responsibility she is promulgating, and the audience’s acceptance of it all.

Wow, for real?

Then I read and re-read the transcript and realized I’d missed that Elizabeth was looking for a “construct” that would keep creative types from drinking themselves into an early grave. A construct that would include personal responsibility and a connection with the Divine.

Okay…I could roll with this for a little while.

So, she talked about Tom Waits and North African dancers and bad knees on Tuesday mornings. Talked about due diligence on her part in “showing up for the work,” but also in allowing Whatever Else shared the task with her to “do Their thing.” This, I kinda liked.

I’d been “brought up” on my own, basically, about metaphysical thought, through lots of reading. Sure, parental guidance, and all that—including my mom being quite metaphysically oriented herself—but my own views mainly came from reading and observing Life. Discovering what seemed to work and what didn’t seem to work from what I’ve read and how that knowledge transferred or didn’t transfer “out in the wild” of Life itself. What I found was that it didn’t really matter what you believed…if you truly believed it, than it actually worked. If you believe in Buddha and his teachings, then it worked, if you believed in crystals, mantras, or any other religion, it worked.

So, it was the belief that worked, not so much the mechanizations of the specific belief that worked (e.g., it wasn’t the actual use of crystals, but the belief in the use of the crystals).

I’d also come to the belief (pardon the pun) that, yes, there is a Divinity, an All That Is that exists. Some call S/He/It “God,” some call it other names. Doesn’t matter what we call It, in only matters that It exists. Some don’t believe any such thing. That is their belief, and they’re totally and utterly welcome to it, not that they require my buy-in. But I allow them their beliefs.

So, through all this study, I’d come to the understanding that each of us are individually responsible for our own lives, and what a wondrous life it is! We each create our own lives! What we want to do while we’re erect and breathing and taking up space in this corporeal existence! We do it through an allowance of what I call “All That Is,” and this Deity, this Divinity, is a part of us. Each and every one of us. So, when we each create anything, it is very much a part of and a result of our own, individual actions…which are—by the very nature of what I believe—one and the same with The Nine Billion Names of God. We are one and the same. God is within each of us—I make no separations of soul and flesh. My All That Is is not a separate entity for which I have to look outward. Pray to in or through another vessel (e.g., a “church”) or separate exteriorization. My expression of physical representation is as much my doing as God’s because…we’re working together. In this way, it’s probably more inline with Buddhism and that ilk, but it’s not Buddhism and that ilk. I don’t have a name for it, and I don’t like having to give it one. It is simply my belief.

And that brings us to Elizabeth Gilbert and her dilemma.

All this being said, I, therefore, do not and have never felt such angst as described here, not because I’m superhuman, but because I have tried to understand my relationship with myself, aka, All That Is. I realize that I am part of a much larger, vast, WHOLENESS. I realize that all I can do, is all I can do! That though I might feel failure, or despair, none of my acts are wholly failed nor despaired! My feelings are simply feelings, and these feelings are to be understood for what they are…momentary physical displays in a physical world that are mere representations of what’s actually going on inside me. They are my interpretations of internal data. And, being a Human Being, one of the reasons I am HERE, I’ve reasoned, is to learn. To deal with whatever issues I have in constructive ways. To find ways” around the rocks” of life that are good and positive.

So, though I am a “writer,” I am also a Human. A husband, a friend, an uncle, a son, a brother. I am many things, none of which so much as “define” me, in that in said definition, if I were to “fail” (in any sense of the word) it would defeat me. I take humourous umbrage when someone tells me that they cannot do anything else in life but (fill in the blank).

Bullshit, I politely say/think.

We are each multi-talented. All you have to do is look to all the “jobs” everyone on the planet is doing. Is someone else is doing it, we each have the capacity within ourselves to perform similarly. We each have hidden, latent talents.

When I see and hear of such anguish as discussed in Elizabeth Gilbert’s talk, I see fear. Fear of failure and fear of personal responsibility. Sure, there might also be inherent mental instability, or said fear might grow into said mental instability. But I still see fear, however defined. And developing a construct, a mechanism to combat that fear, by saying “Okay, part of this is me, but part of it is also something else outside of me” doesn’t quite “do it” for me, though I do totally understand what she’s getting at. But for me, God is within me, a part of me. Now, sure, anyone can start picking this all apart and pointing accusatory fingers at me saying I think I’m God, and that would just be what we called in the military “quibbling.”

But my belief is that all my actions—all of our actions—are all useful in the development of ourselves and the Human Race. Nothing we do is waste, and though we might perceive some of our actions as wasted and failures, they are, in reality and on the greater scheme of things, NOT failures. It is our interpretations that need readjustment. Study. And should we perceive ourselves as not doing as a great a job at one thing, then we would migrate over to something else. Whether or not we are willing to do this, is another story, but again deals with perceptions and beliefs.

So, no, I don’t feel any angst about “having to perform,” having to continue to write something that betters a previously existing work, or if I’m good enough to continue, or how can I bear such a heavy burden of speaking for the Human Race, but I am also not in the public limelight like Hemingway, David Foster Wallace, Hunter S. Thompson , so some might say it’s “easier” to say what I say. Perhaps. And I wonder if a large part of all this is lumped upon these people by the masses, the public, the publishing houses and agents. And whether these people were really as strong-willed as they behaved in public…or it was simply the stress of dealing with The World in a way they never had to before. Yes, that can be daunting. There is something to be said for the phrase “The Weight of the World.”

I don’t have the answer to everything, or why every artist took their own life. That only they can truly answer. Maybe it really wasn’t the same thing for every writer, who knows? But, as it stands now, for me, in my fairly innocuous state of publishing existence, this is how I feel—how I perceive—my life now. It could all change…my perceptions of it could change. But when I watched and read Elizabeth Gilbert’s presentation, I just had to comment. So, if you read this and you take offense or heartily disagree, that’s fine.

Just take it as one other person’s whacked-out beliefs.

 

 

 

Inspiration

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A friend of mine and I were discussing writerly inspiration, when I got inspired to “pen” this post.

What is it and where does it come from?

Can you force it?

Hey, maaan, got any techniques to maximize its potential?

I may be a bit too hardline in my way of thinking, but I really feel that each of us are built to do certain things. Sure, we can change our direction[s], and that can get heavy into metaphysics (which I do get into, below), but as to “teaching” others how to be inspired…well, all I got is that you “simply” need to allow yourself to be aware of your own, unique, whispers.

That’s it. No secret handshakes, no intricate nor arcane protocols.

Tell yourself you allow yourself to be inspired. Go on, do it now. Out loud. Mean it.

People—it seems to me—are always looking outside themselves to find themselves. Trying to unnecessarily complicate matters.

All we are is within us.

All you need to know is already within you and me. We simply have to become aware of who we are, and to do that we need to listen to our inner voices (my standard disclaimer of mental aberrations and crazed ax-murderer inclinations NOTwithstanding…).

You already know who you are.

You do, I bet you do.

You may be afraid to admit it, you may be obfuscating it with other issues, but deep down, it’s all there. Sometimes we have to dig through all kinds of other “stuff” first, and that is something some need to do. There’s a reason for that, and you have to find it, discover your own answers—no one else can do that for you. Techniques for that are abundant, but it again comes down to listening to yourself, your thoughts, your dreams, how you deal with the world…ask yourself questions and allow the answers to come in whatever form they choose to reveal themselves to you in. A TV show, a dream, a phrase on a roadside sign.

Now, the flipside to that—for creative types—is, well, okay, I know who I am, yeah, I’m cool with that, but I seem to have issues expressing it. Please, to help me, Kind Sir!

See above there are no secret handshakes, no intricate nor arcane protocols.

We all have daily inspiration. It’s unavoidable. The problem might appear to be that you are not experiencing what you feel inspiration should be.

The problem may be that you got inspired to write a book, paint an acrylic, and now, nothing else is coming forthwith.

This is what I have to say, and you may not like it, and where my hardcore view comes into play.

You may not a writer nor a painter be.

You may have experienced a bout of said, you may have been inspired to do a single or handful of singular creative acts, for whatever reason your inner self needed that expression, but you may not be a writer. May not be a painter.

And there’s nothing wrong with that!

You may be a reader…may be a viewer…an illustrator, a coder, a cover artist. A cop.

And—getting totally metaphysical on your collective asses—I feel this is the case because you may be very well already be said writer or painter in another life…another existence…but in this existence, you’re experiencing the other side of the coin.

Life is far too complex, too rich to be limited to one single, expendable existence. It’s far too limiting a concept, so I believe we have to live other, simultaneous existences…where all our other existences interact…bleeding through talents, and, yes, inspiration…to all of our other existences.

And what is inspiration?

From Merriam-Webster, it’s “something that makes someone want to do something or that gives someone an idea about what to do or create: a force or influence that inspires someone.”

Where does it come from?

It comes from the nonphysical realms of which the mind is a part. And that gets into individual beliefs. But, for me it comes from the playgrounds of the soul. I look at the brain as the medium, the means of intersection between the physical body and the nonphysical mind. I do not see the mind so much as resident within the brain, but Venn diagrammed with it. Accessed through the brain. And as such, our mind has access to a wondrous and neverending array of concepts we simply cannot even begin to imagine…but try to! We have such wondrous access. And since our beliefs drive our lives, and since beliefs are nonphysical, part of our mind, if we don’t believe we can do something or don’t believe we have access to something, anything nonphysical will be so hindered. Our beliefs are the keys to our lives…our thoughts.

So, “forcing” inspiration? See above.

Additionally, what if some inspiration is a thought or a feeling from one of your other selves? One of your other selves’s actual experiences?

Inspiration.

Now, for just a minute, play a little gedankenexperiment. Try to imaging that the life you’re living now is not the prime, only life…but that this life is a probable life to another you, somewhere else…bemoaning their existence and wondering what the hell you’re doing…that they could actually be you.

Wicked freaky, huh?

And, admit it, as belief systems go, wouldn’t you rather that kind of universe exist over one that says you have but one—and only one—life to live? Wouldn’t it take the pressure off having to do one and only one thing? Doesn’t it leave a bit of breathing room, my friends?

Doesn’t it put an entirely different spin on a lot of questions? A lot of angst?

People may use Tarot cards, chicken bones, scrying, handheld pendulums, or whatever to “deliver” inspiration, and that’s fine, it’s okay, it’s part of who they are…and you can go ahead and try them. But, I say, and truly mean this, because I really do care about people, listen to yourselves. Discover what makes you tick and just be yourself. As for writer’s block, that is usually not so much a lack of inspiration, but (in my humble opinion) an obfuscation of inspiration. Something is blocking your methods and I feel it’s usually stress or some other issue that needs resolution before you can move forward. Sometimes you just need to stop and take stock, but I feel the correction to “writer’s block” is as varied as—and directly related to—the causes, rather than just listing out a series of “steps” to follow. Again, listening to your inner self can only help.

And if you’re not a writer, have no more writerly inspiration in you, that’s okay. Write out your one or two books and be good with it, if no more ever comes to you…or doesn’t manifest itself for years to come. Enjoy your life and who you are. Move on.

We need readers, too.

Embrace the Shake!

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This 10-minute video is incredible. It talks about embracing our limitations. Period. It’s a presentation given by Phil Hansen, an artist, and how he turned a shaking disability into an asset. It is a lesson to all of us about anything that goes wrong in our lives. This guy is amazing, his creativity, his will to be…to create art.

It’s a lesson in “going around the rocks,” I like to say. When you have some kind of obstacle, go around them, find another path. In writing this can be applied in so many ways, not the least of which are writer’s block and methods of publication. But it’s about so much more, about how to overcome any adversity and move forward, still making the world a better place by finding within oneself the beauty one still has to share with the world. We all have our issues, some worse than others, and sometimes we need to mourn. But, once we get past that, we need to find a way to bring our gifts into the world, whether it be a smile and a helping hand, or the creation of art. It may sound trite, but after watching this video you might well find yourself thinking: the only limitations are the ones we put on ourselves.

Embrace the shake!

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Reviewers, Critics, and Literati

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English: Human figure with thought bubbles
What are YOU thinking? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Recently, I’d read a post about critics, and it kinda struck a nerve. Though I had a bit to say in my comments, I’d not discoursed on my thoughts about the need for critics. I thought it, too, might take of a bit of time, then, yesterday, thought, huh, why not post about it.

Much of my comments centered on the ideal versus the practiced. In practice I’ve found that most critics outside of my university days seem to attack and tear down, rather than try to really understand and probe a piece of writing and its meaning (of course, that could also be a sad reflection of the state of publishing…but I’m thinking not…). Again, I admit, I’m not what I’d consider “well read.” I read a fair amount, and even widely, but I’m certainly no Marc Schuster. Now, I have no literary degrees (B.S. in Physics with an astronomy emphasis; minor in German, though was one class shy of a dual minor, in Philosophy), am largely self-taught in the world of writing, but I have a reasoning, critical mind. Though I never “used” my degree in the outside world, it taught me something most valuable:  critical thinking.

Okay, it taught me all kinds of theory and cool, astronomical stuff, but it also taught me how to think.

And all the philosophy courses I took also honed my critical facilities, though, in truth I must admit that I’ve always been one to take up a discussion and debate my way in, around, and out of paper (and plastic!) bags. I love discussion. Love thinking. In high school, one of my nicknames was “the Philosopher.”

So, when it came to others foisting their unbidden opinions on me, I’ve never been one interested in them [in this respect:  which books I should read and what they’re “about”]. I felt I would make up my own mind on whatever it was I wanted to read, or watch, or listen to, and not have someone else hand me their opinion on the matter. After all, that was what book covers were for, right? I also didn’t want to be influenced by their opinion when getting into whatever it was I read or watched.

But, this is a multi-edged sword (just run with it…).

Creativity.

Creativity is rampant and part and parcel to life. Wherever there is anything, someone, or All That Is, will create a variance to said “standard.” It is the way of life. So, if someone—anyone—does anything in life, there will be another out there quick to comment. And this means for good or ill.

Time.

In an age where we all actually have the luxury of time like never before, we find ourselves inundated with ever-more leisurely pursuits. We have, perhaps the argument can be made, too many choices. So…we subcontract out. We allow others to do some or all of the work for us. Reviewers, critics, friends, Romans, and countrymen/women.

Human Nature.

It is Human Nature to look at the world and impart our perspective, our interpretation to it. You might say it is our fundamental right to do so. It is what being Human is all about. Living life. And in living life, we have to make decisions. We have to reason, conclude, interpolate, summarize, and assimilate. All this and more. It is…what Humans do.

Needs.

One might well say that “needs,” by definition, are not relative. They’re must-haves, or they’d be called, well, something else—like wants. But, in the realm of “needs,” there is the innate need to grow in whatever it is we’re doing. If we’re building a mouse trap—we strive to build a better mouse trap. Creating a book—write The Great <insert nation> Novel. But while most to many of these needs perhaps orbit around individuals, I feel there is a larger, gestalt, or en masse need of Human Nature to actually better itself. And when anyone individually does anything…it translates into or over to The Whole. Since Humanity is made up of all of us myopic individuals, how can our actions—however perceived as minute—not affect us all.

So, okay, I’ve rambled on here, but how does it all impact the need for reviewers, critics, or the literati in general?

We are not perfect. We’re Human. But, subconsciously or consciously…we try. For the most part, I argue, we mean well. When we attempt to wrap our heads around concepts, ideas, to then try to express those to others not so innately inclined, we help them to understand those same concepts. Help them to learn and to grow. In the process, we’re expressing portions of our beings “built” to do whatever it is we’re doing.

Reviewers, critics, or any other “–ati,” are expressing portions of their beings that beg for attention (not “Hollywood” attention, but “physical, in-this-moment,” Life expression). They are expressing the creativity of life itself in examining life itself, and turning that back on itself in a learning and growing capacity. Even the much ballyhooed Amazon reviewers are doing the exact same thing, “though with smaller words.”

All—each and every one of us—are trying to figure out what it means to live and to grow in our physical existence, how to best express ourselves. Now, in the process, some will come off as abrupt, condescending, arrogant. Those involve more personal learning experiences for the parties involved, whether as the instigator, direct target of a review, or as a much-removed party simply reading the review “from afar” (it will affect you—why is that? How will it? What emotions are invoked?). I do believe in the metaphysical (I studied the philosophy of religion in my university coursework, as well as on my own), and everything is tied to everything else. That’s my opinion; it doesn’t have to be yours. But when it comes to declaring whether or not critics are a necessity, you might as well debate whether or not a flower is needed.