I get it.
I get why he did what he did.
That doesn’t mean I agree with it…I just…understand it.
It is the win-at-all-costs competitive attitude. The razor-sharp focused goal.
Being in the game.
The “level playing field.”
The fact that he didn’t realize how “big” it had all gotten.
When you have a dream, when you’re competitive and have a laser-like focus on something…everything else in life can easily be eclipsed. Ignored. Life can be effortlessly…warped. And when you’re a top athlete…it’s easy to get even more immersed in not only the game…but the concept of the game. The Zen of your single-minded desire. And all your coaches telling you you’re superhuman, unbeatable, the best in the world. Add steroids to the all the trouble, and you create even more of a Bull-in-the-China-shop. Make you more aggressive. Forceful personalities with a goal? Just get out of the goddamned way. You’re either an obstacle to be not just overcome—but decimated—or you’re part of the team. Those are the only two options.
Then throw in some character flaws. Everything above is immediately magnified.
Any analysis of Lance Armstrong and people like him would take far more than a mere blog post (or, is easy, depending on your point of view and whether or not you believe in “black and white” or “shades of gray”), but the Oprah interview of Mr. Armstrong had me riveted. It always fascinates me when criminals get caught and talk about their motivation calmly and oh, so matter-of-factly. Openly. I don’t agree one bit with his actions, but I see them all the time in über-driven people. I’m a driven guy, goal oriented, used to compete in sports. I know the mindset—though I never practiced it to the extreme Lance and others have. I was never willing to screw someone else over to get ahead, and never took any “performance enhancing” drugs, though I had been asked, once, if I wanted to take steroids as I trained for my one and only powerlifting competition during college. They weren’t illegal when I was asked, but I didn’t take them because I wanted to see what I could do on my own. I never blood doped, but I see the allure. Living at over a mile in altitude, every time I go to sea level I was like Superman! I could run forever, squat 415 pounds like it was nothing. Same difference, though the effect wears off once your body acclimatizes to your surrounds. But having the “extra” read blood cells in my body at altitude, then coming down to breath thicker air—oh, yeah, intoxicating how powerful and unstoppable you are.
It’s easy to lose yourself in the game if you don’t keep your head on straight. If you tell yourself you will do anything to win. To win at all costs.
I believe Mr. Armstrong should be penalized, but I also don’t think it should be for life. Yes, he was a bully, was brutal and aggressively attacked all who attacked him—but that’s the Alpha-Male/Female syndrome. Drive forward, decimate opponents, win medals. All else means nothing. Armstrong is no different than many others out there. And I’d argue that any sport instills a similar “culture” of winning on all who participate. Doesn’t make it right, and it needs to be stopped. Sports seem to have evolved into all about winning. Everything else is secondary. Think of one area in particular that arguably seems to have more than its share of honest-to-God criminals in its ranks.
And, maybe, since he was also a philanthropist, it makes everything worse. People question his motives. Here, he was giving so much to organizations that help people, yet behaving as he was “behind the curtain.” Lied, cheated, bullied, and trafficked in drugs. Messed with other people’s lives.
Very few people are perfect. Some crimes more heinous than others. But what seems most important, here, is the growth of the individual, the Lance Armstrong, whether or not any of the rest of us believe him. His atonement for his wrongs. He as to come to terms with himself, he has to fix himself. He says he takes total responsibility and he appeared open and genuine in the interview, even expressed some opinions I’m sure didn’t help him any, but he appears to have finally realized what he’d done, who he’d wronged, and that he has along road ahead of him (pardon the unintended pun). Actions speak louder than words, so we will see if the therapied, humbled, and heavily reworked Lance Armstrong does as his words portrayed. But I don’t think he should be banned for life. Out of his life, came much good with the bad, and if he truly reforms himself, then he should be allowed a second chance. Most people should be allowed a second chance in life.
That…is my humble opinion.