I mean, I just stood there and looked at her.
Didn’t want to leave.
Something felt so familiar.
“They” say movies and pictures add 10 pounds to people…well, there’s also something movies and pictures add to history. Seeing something firsthand seems to strip away all the pomp and makeup and lighting and “best sides” to the bare, unadulterated truth.
This…was a war machine.
A well-crafted, lethal, deliverer of death and destruction.
So why the fascination? Why did so many men turn into kids around things like aircraft and boats and battlefields?
Why do they jockey for position to get in front of others to squeeze in and crawl through a claustrophobic metal tube such as the B-17’s fuselage?
I spent last weekend crawling throughout and marveling at a refurbished B-17G, the Liberty Belle. Words near fail me. This is something that has, well—I’ll use the term “haunted”—me since I first got my hands on Flying Fortress: The Illustrated Biography of the B-17s and The Men Who Flew Them, by Edward Jablonski, oh, so many years ago. Liberty Belle tours the United States. Except for the $450 rides aboard it, and any donations that are stuffed into an empty bomb shell, touring the ship (or “Fort” as it used to be called by some aircrew) is free. I explored nose to tail. All of it. Actually crawled through the much narrower-than-expected empennage to the aft tail gunner compartment—and it is a crawl, all fours—as well as experienced the waist, radio, bombardier, and pilot compartments. Getting in just aft of the bombardier compartment is a squeeze. And once inside, you’ll find there’s little “elegance” involved in its construction. Everything is totally functional. From the Spartan and oddly place tail gunner seat (maybe it was locked into position and was actually adjustable, I don’t know…), to the lethal Browning machine guns. Interior exposed fuselage airframe. There’s no padding or built-in comfort here. It was a fascinating, fascinating in-your-face exploration of an important part of WWII history. It’s obviously not for everyone… but it may be for you. It may speak to a part of you you can’t explain…don’t want to admit to even being a part of you…but just go if there’s even a little part of you at all interested. No one’ll know—at least, not until you get that faraway look in your eyes. Then everyone’ll understand and allow you your space. Your…moment.
Just go.
See what it does to you.
And watch the WWII veterans who also show up, because, yes, there are still quite a few out there, and some are willing to talk—but be reverent with them, because more than likely you’re not coming from the same “place” they are. For you, this might just be a weekend diversion, but for those guys who flew them…it’s most likely something else entirely. One contemporary Belle pilot told me how on one tour he found an elderly gentleman lying on his back on the tarmac underneath mid-fuselage, one hot day. He approached the man and asked if he was all right…if he needed a glass of water or anything. The gentleman responded he was fine…that this was just the last he’d seen of his plane when he bailed out of it during WWII. He’d been a ball turret gunner (on the underside of the ship).
I spent most of my time either looking at the Belle from the tarmac, or inside the tail gunner compartment. I crawled back there twice, the second time I had much more time to myself. For some of my own fascination with the tail gunner position, please check out my previous posts (first post and second post). Though there was a intense sense of familiarity around the B-17, there was nothing Twilight Zoneish about the experience as when I first visited Bull Run. But I tell ya, though I am a fan of aircraft, the B-17 really, almost “unaccountably,” gets under my skin…no other aircraft of WWII has this effect on me…in fact, I can’t think of any other aircraft that really has that effect on me, period. There is just something about this aircraft.
I visited the Belle all weekend. The first day it was windier than hell, with gusts at and above 40 mph, so the flight crew grounded themselves after some morning flights. I wanted to see the Belle take off and land, so came back Sunday to see it. I also spent a lot of time actually talking to those working and visiting the plane. Talked to a couple of the pilots, especially “John,” an easy six-foot-four or more easy going guy who simple fell in love with the ”romance” of flying the Liberty Belle. Also talked with an 86-year-old ex-pilot with over a 1,000 hours of B-17 time. He was a trip. I remarked to my wife how well he got along at 86 (I’m pretty sure that was his age), but when I talked with the gentleman, he rattled off a host of “issues” and operations he’d had—and that amazed me more! The guy had spunk! He also had a great little ditty about himself being a “Human B-17.” I have to find that. Talked with another “Frank” whose dad had been a tail gunner. If I’m keeping all the stories straight, his dad’s flight was the only plane that had returned from an air raid one day, and it was haunting returning to base. No more guys laughing or drinking or playing cards or riding bikes.
Silence.
Emptiness.
Sooo…I saw it take off—kinda. There was this long building that actually masked any actual rubber-leaving-the-airstrip, but we saw it soon afterward. And as for landing..weeell, missed that too. Another set of buildings also masked touchdown (we had to stay “behind the cones,” since it was an operational airport), though I got a great digital video of it taxing back to its parked location.
Then…after we’d returned home, the Belle flew directly over our home! I mean directly. Straight up—twice. I took some great digital video of that, too. It’s such a beautiful aircraft, and it’s so cool to see it in flight.
Call it synchronicity, lunacy, or whatever, but ever since late last year, I’ve been giving this tail gunner “issue” of mine some serious attention, and, as detailed in my previous posts, I’ve had some cool stuff happen. And I wrote a short story about it—which I’m still marketing. But, my weirdness aside, if anyone ever has a chance to see one of these beasts “in person,” and there’s even just the teensiest of inklings of interest—I highly recommend it.
Did not want to leave.
Joyce says
Your joy is palpable. Certain sounds as if you’ve experienced the B-17 “before”…first hand. Enjoyed the article!
fpdorchak says
Thanks, Joyce! It’s amazing when you finally meet an object of your interest you’ve had for most of your adult life! Just like when I first visited Civil War battlefields–especially Bull Run. There’s a feeling that’s just hard to describe. It’s electric. And a lot of things…issues…call them what you will, they just “fall into place” (pardon my unintended pun). Finally make sense. Maybe others out there can apply similar “mechanics” to things that “feel familiar” in their lives and see where it takes them….
Ute Kaboolian says
Dear Frank,
I enjoyed this very much. It reminded me of many dreams I’ve had where I flew a small plane and was always happy taking off in it, flying it and then also successfully landing it. The whole flying experience was something else. In those dreams it seems that people used them like we use a car. It was nothing too special, just part of everyday life But nothing can come close to the exhilaration I felt in those dreams. Thanks for making me remember those dreams. I can just imagine what those pilots of WWII were feeling when they saw their planes. Wonderful reporting. Thank you.
Ute
fpdorchak says
Danke, Ute! And the synchronicities continue! Last weekend I watched a Humphrey Bogart movie, called “Chain Lightning” (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chain_Lightning_(film) ). I knew it was about a pilot who got out of the Army Air Force and test piloted after WWII, but didn’t know Bogie’s part was a B-17 pilot and that it showed a scene flying it into battle. Then Thursday my chiropractor told me about one of his patients who’s an ex-B-17 crew member and how he’d written up a little vignette about his first over-Berlin experience–and I just read the story today. It’s like this “tail gunner” personality is continuing to throw stuff my way. It’s pretty cool. But thanks for “stopping by,” and I’m glad I helped you remember some fond dreams of yours! Hope all is well!
utekab says
Dear Frank,
Yeah, and Berlin is my home town. Neat, hm? I love it when all these little tidbits fit together like this.
Love, Ute
fpdorchak says
Thanks for stopping by again, Ute! So nice to hear from you! It’s nice to see that some do come back and check this out every now and then; it’s such an important part of me, if you know what I mean! ;-] And I’m still trying to sell this 2200-word story! Take care and best wishes in all that you do!
fpdorchak says
Reblogged this on Reality Check and commented:
One of my reincarnational lives, as a WWII tail gunner…