F. P. Dorchak

Speculative Fiction (New Weird) Author

Humor

The Twilight Zone Lost Episode!

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A humorous blast from the past I never would have known about had it not been for Paul Gallagher, aka Twitter handle, @TheNightGallery! Thanks, Paul!

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The Gregorian Apocalypse

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Apocalypse
Apocalypse (Photo credit: Walt Jabsco)

Okay, let me be the first to create mass hysteria about the next apocalypse. About a lesser-known, minor apocalypse…the “Apocalypse that could,” if you will.

It’s the Gregorian Apocalypse.

Yes, Gregorian. As in “calendar.”

This apocalypse occurs every year—without fail, mind you—yet garners no attention. Zero. It is the only apocalypse that actually fulfills itself. It’s utterly simple:

The calendar comes to an end on Dec 31st.

That’s it. Brilliant, huh?

Now, that whole Mayan Apocalypse thing had the same issue—its calendar came to an end—yet it got all the attention. Global media hog. Oh, sure, it’s based in some exotic land, resort destinations, pyramids, ancient sacrifices and all, so, what does the Gregorian Apocalypse have to offer?

Well, it has a 400-year cycle, involving gee-whiz math, and was put into effect in 1582 (so, see, yet another apocalyptic ending overlooked by the Big Boys, 1982!), and there was much public outrage, yes, even violence (see, there is drama, here!), at having days taken away from the masses by landlords to cheat them out of a week’s rent. The cry “Give us the eleven days back!” became the rant of the day.

Yeah, the landlords and overseers of the time, said, but we’ve given you leap years (an extra day added to calendars every four years to synchronize them with the actual seasons), so every so often you actually gain an extra day in the year, which is better in the long run, you know, if you, ummm, happen to make it past the age of 48…

Now, this may sound nothing more than when the company you work for revamps its vacation schedule to make them “more competitive,” and “gives” you “floating holidays,” but they never end up making up for remove days of vacation. So, this must have been a big thing back then, you know, given life expectancies were pretty light. You only lived until, like, 42 (okay, here’s some more actual numbers), and now you’ve just lost 11 of those days?! You can see that living to, like, 44 or 48 to cash in on those extra days wasn’t a huge option for most.

Yet, the Gregorian Apocalypse keeps at it. Every year. Relentlessly. And it will continue…until it gets the recognition it deserves.

So, I say let’s drum it up for The Little Apocalypse That Could! 360 days to go (as of this posting; do your own gee-whiz math to account for your post viewing), people, set your clocks for the end of the world!

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New Discovery On Mars

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Marvin the Martian
Marvin the Martian (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This article claims a new Martian discovery will soon be revealed by NASA.

“It could be all kinds of things,” said Peter H. Smith, a planetary scientist at the University of Arizona who was the principal investigator for NASA’s earlier Phoenix Mars mission but is not involved with Curiosity. “If it’s historic, I think it’s organics. That would be historic in my book.”

That NASA is being tight-lipped about it is not all that “exciting” to me. What’s exciting to NASA isn’t exactly big shakes to the rest of the population, IMHO (and I could very well be wrong…).

Why?

Cause we’re all looking for the discovery of alien ruins, fragments of C3PO, or a used Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator…not some perchlorate, or a whole, entire molecule of some “…carbon-based molecules known as organics…” in Martial soil.

We already know about the robot face (hmmm, images of which have curiously disappeared from the search engines…), Cydonia, and other conspiracies.

But then, a day later…NASA is already backpedaling. Okay, maybe not “historic”…just “interesting.”

Really? Over UFOs, ruins, and an Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

C’mon, top those, NASA.

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CPR Can Make You…Undead

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I love this video—and it’s perfect for October! Ha—check this thing out, it’s so cool and so well done!

Is there a doctor in the alley?

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