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F. P. Dorchak

Speculative Fiction (New Weird) Author

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Fun

iWorry

June 13, 2014 by fpdorchak

Okay, let’s have some funny on Friday the 13th!

I found this a couple weeks back, but got sidetracked with more serious stuff.

Enjoy!

Filed Under: Comedy, Fun, Leisure, Technology, To Be Human, Uncategorized Tagged With: Apple, iConfused, iSync, iSynergenation, iWatch, Time, Watches, What Time Is it?

The Indie Author Manifesto, by Mark Coker

April 24, 2014 by fpdorchak

We Hold These Truths To Be Self-Evident!  (Howard Chandler Christy [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)
We Hold These Truths To Be Self-Evident! (Howard Chandler Christy [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)
I love this guy!

Mark Coker.

Creator of Smashwords.

I met him at a writer’s conference a couple years ago, drove him to the airport with a carload of other VIPs. This guy is so cool, so down to earth, so frigging real. He isn’t afraid to stand up to the icons of the publishing industry and call “Foul!” Dazzle them with the facts.

From his current post, I have lifted what he is calling, his Indie Author Manifesto.

Rock on, Mark Coker!

THE INDIE AUTHOR MANIFESTO

We indie authors believe all writers are created equal, that all writers are endowed with natural creative potential, and that writers have an unalienable right to exercise, explore and realize their potential through the freedom of publication.

I hold these truths to be self-evident:

  1. I am an indie author
  2. I have experienced the pleasure and satisfaction that comes from self-publishing
  3. I have a right to publish
  4. My creative control is important to me.  I decide when, where and how my writing graduates to become a published book.
  5. Indie does not mean “alone.”  I choose my partners.
  6. I shall not bow beholden or subservient to any publisher. In my business relationships, I seek partnership, fairness, equity and mutually aligned interests.
  7. We indie author comprise diverse writers unified by a common purpose to advance, empower and celebrate writers everywhere.
  8. I am a professional.  I take pride in my work, and I strive to improve my craft to better serve my readers, myself, my fellow indie authors and the culture of books
  9. My writing is valuable and important.  This value and importance cannot be measured by commercial sales alone.
  10. I celebrate the success of my fellow indie authors, for their success is mine, and mine theirs. Together we are pioneering a better future for books marked by greater quality, creativity, diversity, choice, availability, affordability and accessibility.

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  • Going Indie – What I’ve Learned (So Far) – Part 2 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Going Indie – What I’ve Learned (So Far) – Part 3 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Going Indie – What I’ve Learned (So Far) – Part 4 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Going Indie – What I’ve Learned (So Far) – Part 5 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Going Indie – What I’ve Learned (So Far) – Part 6 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Going Indie – What I’ve Learned (So Far) – Part 7 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Going Indie – What I’ve Learned (So Far) – Part 8 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Going Indie – What I’ve Learned (So Far) – Part 9 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)

Filed Under: Art, Fun, Leisure, To Be Human, Writing Tagged With: equity, fairness, I hold these truths to be self-evident, Indie Publishing, Mark Coker, mutually aligned interests, partnership, self publishing, Smashwords, The Indie Author Manifesto, Wailing Loon, writing

Newsletter

March 9, 2014 by fpdorchak

Yeah, you. I'm talkin' to YOU. (By Wer-Al Zwowe (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)
Yeah, you. I’m talkin’ to YOU. (By Wer-Al Zwowe (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)
Okay, I have finally gotten my act together and created my first newsletter (sent by MailChimp; to only get the newsletter, do not create a MailChimp account here; go to the column on the right of this post, and select “Newsletter” to only get a newsletter; this “MailChimp” link is for creating a MailChimp account to send newsletters), which is cool and funny in and of itself, and makes neat, chimp-like noises when you watch their instructional videos). It’s set to send early tomorrow morning. I’m curious to see if people get it and if it’s readable. It’s not about me, this first one. I hope to have some sort of regularly scheduled missive sent out, either quarterly or monthly. Depends on what I have to say. If you haven’t yet done so, and are interested, please select the “Newsletter” selection to the upper right.

Once again, thank you for your support!

Filed Under: Fun, Writing Tagged With: Carrier Pigeon, MailChimp, Missive, Newsletter

Olympic Novel Writing

February 12, 2014 by fpdorchak

Another sport that needs to be included into the Olympic repetoire!

Filed Under: Comedy, Fun, Leisure, To Be Human, Writing Tagged With: Meaningless Scribble, Monty Python, Novel Writing, Olympics, Thomas Hardy

Again, With the Code Enforcer, Already?

February 10, 2014 by fpdorchak

Class Clown Pictures © FOREVER
Class Clown Pictures © FOREVER

This is me pushing my brother’s current project.

Now, usually, by “pushing my brother” it’d mean something sophomoric, like, into a wall, down a flight of stairs, or into another in the checkout line, but since we’re theoretically older and wiser, it now means I’m “helping,” by pushing a project of his. And by “project,” I mean “a thing,” not to project…unless you mean, “projecting into the future (the near future…), which is where this project (“a thing”) is, and to which we are helping….

Geesh, writing is hard.

Okay, whatever, just click here: http://www.seedandspark.com/studio/code-enforcer

Since there’s no “share” for the above funny video, please to click and view. It’s, like, three minutes. You can do that standing at the toilet this morning (or sitting, as you prefer; I don’t judge). It is HOA Code Enforced approved (HOACEApvd, #HOACEApvd).

My brother, Greg Dorchak, Tim Cunningham, et al, are pushing their crowdfunding endeavor, “Code Enforcer,” a comedic independent film they’re looking to get financial backing for. For which they are looking to get financial backing. I’ve posted about this before, it’s been an ongoing project of his, and the teaser videos are über great (“funny,” not  “large”), so I hope you’ll take a couple minutes out of your day, whether or not you’re standing before a toilet, to check it out, and head over to Seed & Spark and also help them out (and also please check the “Follow,” which is like “Fellow,” but without the “e.” And has an extra “o.” But isn’t “extra” in that it isn’t needed, cause it really is, or you’d think the word was “fellow.” And it isn’t even associated wholly or in part with the whole Seed & Sparks thing, so I don’t know why I even bothered to mention the damned thing…). I did, parts of my family did (won’t tell you which parts), but we were heavily threatened and badgered into doing so. But, it’s all good, right?

Greg’s been in a variety of things, and by “variety,” I mean lots of different things. And here (love the Creativity Captured one the best). He’s been in a national Jimmy John’s commercial that played lots during baseball season, and has been in movies, like “Miss Congeniality” (he was one of several “FBI Man in Background,” though no credits were given for the extras).

(It’s not that all his other movies were like “Miss Congeniality,” i.e., “Miss Congeniality” 2 and 3, or that they all involved a hot female FBI agent who undercovers as a beauty contestant, but that he was in movies, as in [“e.g.,”] “a” movie, such as one “like” [“for example,” that’s what that “e.g.” means] one called “Miss Congeniality”….)

Are you as annoyed with me, right now, as much as I am with myself?

So, this is me pushing my brother’s current project.

This is me being a Tweet Whore (which is exhausting, see all my retweets this morning…).

And this is you, checking out Code Enforcer stuff.

Thanks for being you.

Related articles
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Filed Under: Art, Comedy, Fun, Leisure, To Be Human, Writing Tagged With: Class Clown Pictures, Code Enforcement, Code Enforcer, Crowdfunding, Film, Funny, Greg Dorchak, HOA, Independent Films, Miss Congeniality, Movies, Seed & Spark, Sophomoric, Tim Cunningham, Tweet Whore, Vern Speiner

Save The Weather Channel?

January 13, 2014 by fpdorchak

Okay, I admit it, I do watch The Weather Channel (TWC).

There, I said it.

I usually have it on in “the background,” unless I have Pandora on, or some cool science fiction or supernatural show or movie to “set atmosphere” when I’m writing. I love Wake Up With Al for the banter and amusing repertoire between Al Roker and Stephanie Abrams. They need their own show, if you want my opinion. Have great chemistry. I’ve always been interested in the weather, certain family members across the country and I always ask about it when we talk. Maybe it makes us all feel “more there” with each other, since everyone can identify with the weather, or maybe it’s from always having been outside and active, or all the many cool and varied weather patterns and weirdness that the weather can cause and exhibit as it envelops our planet. Maybe it’s all of these things. But just this weekend I learned that DirecTV is axing TWC tonight. The first thought in my head was, hmmm…I bet TWC is asking for too much money…or at least “too much money,” according to DirecTV.

This morning I did a quick search, and sure enough, that’s the issue.

So, whether (pardon the pun) or not DirecTV is being unreasonable or TWC is being greedy, I don’t know, and am not about to delve any deeper, but the claims I’ve been hearing from TWC all weekend (the Keeptheweatherchannel campaign) about them saving lives…?

Sigh.

Okay, I can see how a weather channel can save lives, but as one article put it, TWC, stop the hyperbole!

Forty percent (that 40%!) of TWC programming are reality shows! In addition to that, I discovered a long time ago that local forecasters are far better at predicting the weather for any location I’ve traipsed through than TWC. DirecTV has also started its own weather channel, channel 361 (TWC’s is 362), called Weather Nation (the link doesn’t even really work, yet!). This may not be a good sign, but my first stop on it this morning yielded a rather long commercial. And with the recent upgrade at TWC’s studios, I’m sure TWC feels justified in their asking price, to stay more engaged and “hip” with their audience. Apparently they are still on other providers, and that’s great.

But…saving lives? That’s their campaign?

I wish TWC all the best in their fight to stay on DirecTV, I do think they’re a great service, amusing, informative, but I do not turn to them when real, life-threatening concerns affect my living space. I find this media attack an affront to my intellect. If anything, I use the local stations. Sorry, TWC, I’m just being honest, but good luck!

Filed Under: Fun, Leisure, To Be Human Tagged With: Al Roker, DirecTV, keeptheweatherchannel, Stephanie Abrams, The Weather Channel, TWC, Wake Up With Al, Weather

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