F. P. Dorchak

Speculative Fiction (New Weird) Author

Leisure

Uninvited Blurbs Reinstated to Paperback

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The Uninvited, © 2013, F. P. Dorchak and Duvall Design
The Uninvited, © 2013, F. P. Dorchak and Duvall Design

I just received and approved the physical proof of The Uninvited, with the blurbs reinstated to the front matter. This updated version may be immediately purchased at the CreateSpace site, or in about 5-7 days, at Amazon.com and other outlets:

  • Amazon.com: 5-7 Business Days (the original novel is already here, this is just the updated version)
  • Amazon Europe: 5-7 Business Days (the original novel is already here, this is just the updated version)
  • Expanded Distribution channels: 6-8 Weeks (the original novel is already here, this is just the updated version)

Remember, if you’d like an autographed copy, please send me your book(s), with appropriate return postage, to the following address, and I’ll sign them! F. P. Dorchak, P. O. Box 49393, Colorado Springs, Colorado 80949.

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Ask Me Out…I’m Available!

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Writer's Stop
Let Me Be Your One-Stop-Writer’s Stop! (“Writer’s Stop,” photo credit: Stephh922)

I’m 52 (and look young for my age; some say even act younger than my age, like, way, waaay younger…),  5′ 10″ (lost 1.5 inches somewhere along the past 2 years…), 197 lbs. I work out, love the outdoors, have a keen sense of humor (and am even kinda funny), answer to anything from “Heeeey, youuuu…,” to “F. P.,” or “Frank,” love hikes through woods and rocky areas, love me some good Black Iced Tea, annnd…

I’m available for speaking engagements!

Yes, that’s right—do you belong to a readers’ group? Writers’ group? A library? Do you run a conference? Well, if you’re looking for an up-and-coming author-speaker-reader, I’m your guy! Get me before I get all famous and stuff, overbooked! I’m available! Just e-mail me, at fpdorchak “at” fpdorchak dot com (you know, make your standard e-mail address out of all that)! I can read passages, we can discuss them, discuss what went wrong inside my head to write those passages, that kinda thing. Or maybe we could discuss the process of writing (let’s not get into grammar, though; I’m not your guy, there, and use multiple reference books), the whole indie-versus-traditional process, or your group can read my work, then invite me to a question-and-answer gig. If you run a conference, I can speak about what I’ve learned about going indie. We could discuss the paranormal and supernatural in everyday lives; reincarnation,  synchronicity. Hey, I’m open, and quite easy to get along with (and, yes, you can end a sentence with a “with”)!

Did I mention I’m available?

Hey, and during any engagements, I’ll give away a book or three (depending on audience size). And if you think you’re too far for me to travel, then, boom!, let’s Skype! Do a phone interview! I’ve spoken at a writer group or two, presented at a writer’s conference on an Indie publishing panel, and have been on local and Internet radio (I’m told I have the perfect face for radio, the perfect voice for print). Click here to see some proof. Click here for more proof. Really, you need more proof?

Blog tour?

I’m your guy!

Arm candy at the Academy Awards?

Well, let me check my schedule….

In short (and hurry up, I seem to be getting shorter as the years go by), I’m open to most writerly gigs. Just e-mail me and let’s see what we can come up with! Let’s have some fun and talk about Indie publishing, writing, or the paranormal! Let me be your One-Stop-Writer’s Shop!

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Ask Me Out…I'm Available!

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Writer's Stop
Let Me Be Your One-Stop-Writer’s Stop! (“Writer’s Stop,” photo credit: Stephh922)

I’m 52 (and look young for my age; some say even act younger than my age, like, way, waaay younger…),  5′ 10″ (lost 1.5 inches somewhere along the past 2 years…), 197 lbs. I work out, love the outdoors, have a keen sense of humor (and am even kinda funny), answer to anything from “Heeeey, youuuu…,” to “F. P.,” or “Frank,” love hikes through woods and rocky areas, love me some good Black Iced Tea, annnd…

I’m available for speaking engagements!

Yes, that’s right—do you belong to a readers’ group? Writers’ group? A library? Do you run a conference? Well, if you’re looking for an up-and-coming author-speaker-reader, I’m your guy! Get me before I get all famous and stuff, overbooked! I’m available! Just e-mail me, at fpdorchak “at” fpdorchak dot com (you know, make your standard e-mail address out of all that)! I can read passages, we can discuss them, discuss what went wrong inside my head to write those passages, that kinda thing. Or maybe we could discuss the process of writing (let’s not get into grammar, though; I’m not your guy, there, and use multiple reference books), the whole indie-versus-traditional process, or your group can read my work, then invite me to a question-and-answer gig. If you run a conference, I can speak about what I’ve learned about going indie. We could discuss the paranormal and supernatural in everyday lives; reincarnation,  synchronicity. Hey, I’m open, and quite easy to get along with (and, yes, you can end a sentence with a “with”)!

Did I mention I’m available?

Hey, and during any engagements, I’ll give away a book or three (depending on audience size). And if you think you’re too far for me to travel, then, boom!, let’s Skype! Do a phone interview! I’ve spoken at a writer group or two, presented at a writer’s conference on an Indie publishing panel, and have been on local and Internet radio (I’m told I have the perfect face for radio, the perfect voice for print). Click here to see some proof. Click here for more proof. Really, you need more proof?

Blog tour?

I’m your guy!

Arm candy at the Academy Awards?

Well, let me check my schedule….

In short (and hurry up, I seem to be getting shorter as the years go by), I’m open to most writerly gigs. Just e-mail me and let’s see what we can come up with! Let’s have some fun and talk about Indie publishing, writing, or the paranormal! Let me be your One-Stop-Writer’s Shop!

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Uninvited Update

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The Uninvited, © F. P. Dorchak (cover art: Duvall Design, 2013)
The Uninvited, © F. P. Dorchak (cover art: Duvall Design, 2013)

Well, I slightly messed up a little of the front matter of my Uninvited novel. I had a list of blurbs that should have been included into the paperback, and totally missed them! They’re in the e-book, but hadn’t made it into the paperback. I looked back on my checklist, and found I had no mention of “include blurbs,” or words to that effect. It’s in there now.

So, what to do?

Well, since I’m indie, I merely contacted my über formatter, Pam, and we’ve corrected that. So, the content of the book’s file now has them in there, and I’m awaiting approval from CreateSpace as they do their “human” review. When that’s approved, I will post back “out there.” Hopefully this updated version will be available within a day or two.

By the way, to make it easier on those who would like a signed copy of any of my work, send to: F. P. Dorchak, P. O. Box 49393, Colorado Springs, CO 80949. Simply send the book with the proper amount of return postage included (or cash or check for same) and to whom you want it signed, and I’ll sign and return it.

I like how that “uninvited” title works on so many levels!

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Can You Have What It Takes?

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This is the final and updated version of my Renaissance Man-brother’s teaser for his “Code Enforcer” comedy. That’s him as CMCE (Chief Master Code Enforcer) Vern Speiner. He’s still looking for investors, so, please, forward this around if you know anyone who might have an interest and some money they’re looking to invest—or do so yourself, if interested, since anyone can help out (I did, and got a cool T-shirt! Yeah, that’s fight, I got the T-shirt…).

If you think you have what it takes, you, too, can be the proud enforcificationer of such vague HOA guidelines, suggestions, and guesswork as waste container replacification, compulsory grass cuttery, and lawn decoratory practices. And give out citations for code flauting and backsassing.

There is to be no flauting.

And you get a cool patch, to boot.

So…can you have what it takes?

Click Here. Really. Come on….

Beggin for You To Like Me….

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facebook engancha
Man, this guys’ work is GOOD…. (Photo credit: facebook engancha, Wikipedia)

Okay, I admit it, I’m beggin’ for all your help!

I told myself I’d never do this, but it’s just not happenin’ as fast as I thought it would. Or maybe not so much “fast,” as…at all.

I got this Facebook page, see.

Only 19 “Likes.”

I’ve tried spreading the word by word of mouth, but even my mouth has limitations (yes, Dad, I know, hard to believe…).

You see, I thought I’d organically (isn’t that a cool term?) allow my FB page to grow as things progressed…not artificially asking people to, you know, please Like me, I’m so needy!…but, yes, it’s come to this, and I humble myself before you and pronate, prostrate, and whatever other -ate, and beg for you to like me.

Why?

Because I have low self-esteem?

An ego that needs bolstering?

I’m so unlikable I need reinforcement that I’m not?

Maybe.

But the real reasons are simple: 1) apparently, in the mode of Facebook I’ve subscribed into, the more Likes I get the more capability I get. I don’t know what those capabilities are…but I’m told they’re cool. And save the world. I haven’t signed up as a “regular” user, who can hop from FB page to page and Like the hell out of everyone’s pages. I’ve signed up at a biz/artist page. It has limitations I admit I, uh, like…but also I ask this because, 2) I am trying to gain more exposure for my work (not me, you see, but my work, my books…).

And if you like my page, you get to help save the world.

So, you see, it really isn’t about me. Not at all, nor my ego. It’s about saving the world and my stories. Couldn’t care less if you like me, just like my work. Please. I’m beggin you. My stories keep hammering me to be read by more and more of the world. They want world domination, and they’re not really very happy with me right now, cause I haven’t been promoting them enough (I’m tryin—I’m tryin!). After all, they, say, what’s the point of writing them, if no one’s gonna read them? Sure, I tell them I read you…over and over…I even make you better with each reading…I tend and care for you, polish you…whisper sweet nothings into your ears and nibble and stroke—well, that’s for another story. Anyway, it all falls on deaf ears. They want more…and they’re beginning to threaten.

I’m scared.

So, please…help a fellow out…visit my Facebook page and just click that little old button that says “Like,” or whatever. You know the drill. Maybe spread the word a little to your friends and colleagues…cats and dogs. Goldfish. Of course, if you just plain hate my efforts, I won’t force you into this, but if you have even a little interest in my work…’twould be greatly appreciated. If I then gain the ability to Like your pages, you can be dang sure I’ll visit and return the favor. And this’ll get my voices to back off to pursue more creative endeavors….

Thanks!

(Did the cat picture do it?)