F. P. Dorchak

Speculative Fiction (New Weird) Author

The Uninvited

Boulder YMCA Author Talk

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Author Talk, Mapleton Center YMCA (© F. P. Dorchak, January 17, 2017)
Author Talk, Mapleton Center YMCA (© F. P. Dorchak, January 17, 2017)

Yesterday I had the honor of speaking at the Boulder Media Women’s (BMW’s) “Author Talk” session (also known as “Spoken Word”) at the Boulder, Colorado Mapleton Center YMCA. It’s a cozy gathering that invites authors to speak and discuss their work, with profits from some of the book sale going to the Y to support the Y’s scholarships, which is pretty cool. I didn’t realize that the Y did that. I’ve used a YMCA a couple of times, years ago, so it was nice to help them out in their scholarship with a couple of book sales.

Of note: one gentlemen there and I had been at the same unit when I’d been in the Air Force. He’d been there at the start-up of the unit, and I’d been there nearly fifteen years later. Small world!

The event was organized by BMW’s chair of the Boulder Valley YMCA readings, Jyoti Wind, who met we when I arrived. I had an hour and started off with a reading from The Uninvited, then talked about what I write, gave an overview of my work, how I think (as a writer), how I write, that kind of thing. The audience had so many good questions I was never able to complete my presentation! I love those kinds of presentations! Afterwards, Jyoti, myself, and a couple of others met for lunch at Turley’s Kitchen, a short walk away from the Y—and the Y picked up my tab. Thanks, Mapleton Center YMCA! Following lunch, I visited a good friend of mine and her husband who live nearby. We had a great afternoon chat, had some ox tail soup—which I’d never had before and was great, Karen, I’m not kidding! Karen is quite the “food scholar,” as she brands herself, and has a cookbook, Nature’s Wrap: Cooking in Leaves; Recipes From Around the World.

Overall a great day! Thanks BMW and Mapleton Center YMCA for having me and picking up lunch (and thanks to those in attendance for your time, interest, and stimulating conversation!), and thanks Karen and Wen for a wonderful afternoon chat and dinner!

Some Books, Cats, and a Gift

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The Bookman Book Signing, Nov 7, 20015
The Bookman Book Signing, Nov 7, 20015

Last weekend I held my first “dedicated” book signing in several years. By that I mean it was “all about me,” not a bunch of us at once, like at MileHiCon. It was weird.

“Hi! Look at me! Buy my books!”

Yeah, a little weird. I’d forgotten about that feeling. So I try to make it about the body of work, not the guy standing around with the stupid grin hoping you’ll come trade some cash for paper….

This was also the first book signing where I’d actively promoted it. Over a month out. All my other book signings had been more off-the-cuff things, maybe one prior one I’d put up a flyer somewhere the week prior…but I’d basically never done much to promote. But as I coordinated with Steffany, The Bookman’s manager, she kept wrestling me to the floor with Facebook. Telling me that she’s had authors do signings without being on Facebook and not selling a thing.

You Drew First Blood! First Customer! The Bookman Signing, Nov 7, 2015.
You Drew First Blood! First Customer! The Bookman Signing, Nov 7, 2015.

So, I had Lon Kirschner do up some really cool posters for me, and we’d put them up all over the West Si-iiide of town. Steffany had a mention or two on local radio. She also had a dedicated clientele…posters put up at all the local library branches.

Facebook, Frank, Facebook.

Arrgh.

I caved.

I’d had an account years ago and killed it. I mean did the “kill shot” that involved them totally getting rid of everything about you like you never even existed, where you e-mailed or wrote a letter to them and they “erased” you.

Very CIA.

So…I returned. And it is kinda fun that I’d reconnected with lots of my writer and non-writer friends I haven’t seen in the few years since. I’d quit a function a couple years ago where I’d normally see all these people, so it was nice reconnecting. So, Steffany’s prodding also had positive “unintended consequences”—thanks, Steffany!

Okay, so Facebook it is. I did the “Event” thing and annoyed my friends with “Come and See Me!” notices. I put up the posters. Handed out bookmarks. Mentioned it everywhere. Know what I found out?

The Bookman Signing, Colorado Springs, Nov 7, 2015
Hi, I’m Running For Office. Do You Have A Baby I Could Hold?

The only thing that brought in people…was Facebook. The ONLY thing.

Sorry, Lon.

Not one person showed up because of any poster I put up. Or the library put up. Or the radio spots.

Facebook.

I can safely say that because of everyone that bought books, only three were people I’d not previously known before…one guy was at the store shopping before the signing officially started, had been in Vietnam, and we “talked military.” He gravitated toward Psychic, my remote viewing conspiracy theory novel. Bought it. The other two were a “friend of The Bookman’s” and her friend. Everyone else were people I knew (okay, one friend brought her sister, who I also did not knooow…but I did know of her…)! And they’d heard of it over

Facebook.

Wow.

Fascinating.

The Bookman Signing, Colorado Springs, Nov 7, 2015
Let’s See…That’s R-o-…no, R-q-…no, R-y-…Dang It, I Need Another Book….

Now, that “friend of The Bookman’s” did say that she was going to go grab one of my posters from one of the storefront windows she’d seen it in, because it was such a cool poster and she wanted one! Thanks, Vanessa (and did you end up getting it?)!

But, all that aside…I was so moved by the support of my friends…and their excitement at coming down and being a part of this! I had so many questions thrown at me! One writer friend actually said she wished I’d had a presentation so she could ask more questions! How sweet, thanks, Ataska!

Afterwards (on Facebook) another joked about how she was observing all “my girlfriends”…and I’d joked, well, aren’t you one? She replied “Why, I certainly am!” But she brought up a point I hadn’t even realized at the time, but most of my friends who showed were female! There were only two dudes at the signing, three if you count Mark, who works at The Bookman.

My Books Are Cat Friendly! The Bookman Signing, Colorado Springs, Nov 7, 2015
My Books Are Cat Friendly! The Bookman Signing, Colorado Springs, Nov 7, 2015

The Bookman has a couple of “resident cats” who roam the place like they own it. Well, they do. And I liked that. I love animals. One of them was quite curious, as you can see in this photo! S/he hung out on the table top there for a few minutes. Sniffing around, checking out “the heads.”

So, as moved as I was by the support of my friends, there was another incident that also really touched me. Apparently, one of my “Virtual Friends,” who interacts with me through blog posts and comments, hadn’t been able to make the signing…but had stopped by the previous day…and dropped off a gift for me. As far as I know we’ve never met at a conference or anything, but we have interacted off-and-on over several years through blog posts. She goes by Kattywampus Books. She’s quite witty and intelligent. I never know what she’s gonna say, or how, but it usually grabs and amuses me. Asks probing and thoughtful questions. Anyway, she had left me “a little something” that literally had me speechless. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before.

The Kattywampus Author Survival Kit™! No Author Should Be Without One!
The Kattywampus Author Survival Kit™! No Author Should Be Without One!

She left me the coolest “Author Appearance Survival Kit.”

I’m just gonna say it: holy shit.

I mean, this took some serious thinking. Took a little out-of-pocket expense…but, more so, it was the thought that went into this. The gesture.

I was really touched by her gift.

That she thought enough of me to do something like that. To go out of her way, create it, then leave it for me. Wow. It still brings a huge smile to my face every time I think about it!

When I opened the case…read the letter…I was, um, verklempt.

I mean (until I finished reading the letter I didn’t know who had left this), who do I know who would do something like this?

Mark and  Steffany must surely have been watching my expressions.

Wow. As much horror and fear that’s instilled in the media about the world…it’s nice and amazing to find that there are people out there who do things like this.

Read Kattywampus’s post…most of that stuff in her post is in my kit. And she’s right! You do need this stuff! As it was, I had brought four pens with me, and with her nifty Fisher Space Pen (and refill!), I effectively had six. She even included a mini-First Aid kit (“Papercuts happen.”)!

But, dang it, now I have to do more book signings just to show this thing off!

So, thank you so much, Kattywampus! That was extremely thoughtful of you! Perhaps one day we shall meet…or if we already know each other and you’re just playing up the whole “mysterious” aspect…well played! I like a little mystery!

Interior of The Kattywampus Author Survival Kit™
Interior of The Kattywampus Author Survival Kit™

So, there it is…my first Only Me book signing in a handful of years…and it was a success. I’d sold the most books I’d ever sold in one sitting (12). Maybe not a lot by other’s standards, but for me, it was awesome! And the important thing for me was that I’d had fun. My accountant might feel otherwise (yes there is that nice little check being deposited), but we’re all happy, even The Bookman—who is now carrying my body of work (Psychic was sold out, but I have ordered more; I’m trying to get more Sleepwalkers, but AuthorHouse is not playing nice). So do feel free to stop on by! I love their bookstore, it’s very cozy and crammed with books. And a couple of cats.

And if you’re an author, and a little lucky…maybe someone will stop by and drop off a really cool Kattywampus Author Survival Kit™ for you!

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The Eldredge Not (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)

Voice Book Signing (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)

Voice Delivered (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)

 

Tattered Cover Book Store, MileHiCon, and Bookmarks!

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Paranormal Fiction Bookmarks (© F. P. Dorchak and Kirschner Caroff, 2014)
Paranormal Fiction Bookmarks (© F. P. Dorchak and Kirschner Caroff, 2014)

Yesterday, I’d received an e-mail from the Tattered Cover Book Store informing me that they want to take on consignment of my novels Psychic, ERO, and The Uninvited! There’s a one-time consignment fee per book, and it’s a 90-day contract. They’ll go in the Local Author section. Let’s see, 90 days…what‘s within the next 90 days…

Oh, yeah, Christmas!

So, hope this works out in a stellar way (happy dance!), cause Tattered Cover is a legen-(wait for it…) dary book store. Thanks, Tattered Cover!

I’ve also been informed I will be attending several panels at the upcoming Denver MileHiCon this month (October 24-26th)! I’ll be sitting on the following panels (barring any last-minute changes):

  1. Friday, 6 p.m., Self-Pub Part 1
  2. Friday, 7 p.m., Self-Pub Part 2
  3. Friday, 8 p.m., Autograph Alley
  4. Saturday, 3 p.m., Threat From Above
  5. Sunday, 11 a.m., What If: Alternate Worlds/Readings

Aaand…I’m having some really cool bookmarks done up by Lon Kirschner, of Kirschner Caroff! Lon did my ERO cover. I’ll have them with me at MileHiCon. Do look me up and say “Hi!” Hope to see you there!

That is all.

Bookmark Front (© F. P. Dorchak and Kirschner Caroff, 2014)
Bookmark Front (© F. P. Dorchak and Kirschner Caroff, 2014)
Bookmark Back (© F. P. Dorchak and Kirschner Caroff, 2014)
Bookmark Back (© F. P. Dorchak and Kirschner Caroff, 2014)

 

 

Going Indie—What I’ve Learned (So Far)—Part 11

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Forge Your Own Way. (By Morrowlong [CC-BY-SA-3.0 [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0] or GFDL [http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons]
Forge Your Own Way. (By Morrowlong [CC-BY-SA-3.0 [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0] or GFDL [http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons]
It’s truly never-ending.

When you’re doing everything yourself—and by “yourself” I do mean having a team, but though you do have a team, you’re still in charge—you never really get a break. And that’s okay, because, in this instance, it truly is a labor of love.  But, you can only push yourself so far without adversely affecting your health, relationships, that kind of thing. It’s like I’ve said before, you can only do what you can do. Don’t fret about it…but do your best.

Indie publishing.

I’ve been working on my Psychic manuscript since before 2000. I’d originally started notes and chapter one around 1994, actually, when I’d discovered that our government claimed to have disbanded a classified remote viewing program. It gave me a story idea, so I began notes and such, but it wasn’t until 2000 that I sat down in earnest and began the task I’m still trying to complete. This month, I hope to finally complete it. And though I’ve been working on this project for a large frigging part of my life (surprisingly, this is the manuscript I’ve worked the longest, good God—20 years, if you count when I started taking notes—man that just hit me as I write this!), the difficulty has largely been the timeframe of the book. I’ve had to change the dates and ages and technology numerous times in trying to get this thing out there. And, as I’m wrapping things up, I’m still discovering little nit-noy shit (even though I have a proofreader), like the age of my antagonist at certain events, or the need to again change his weapon of choice. It’s become maddening. I am, however, finding this stuff before my proofreader will find it (she’s still reading and not yet at the end), but it’s frustrating! So, once again, I have to go back in and make corrections. But, that’s the way this works. Unless you do have another set of eyes…and even perhaps despite that, you may still find errors, because no one knows your story like you do.

Good Lord, 20 years?

Hopefully, what you find are not egregious errors…but even so, remember, even with the Big Dogs (the Big Five/Whatever) readers find errors. We’re human, and we make mistakes.

So, here is my latest round of things I’ve discovered:

  1. We’re human, we make mistakes. Accept that, but do your best. Have a thick skin, and readers…be kind. Understand this, fact, too.
  2. Blurbs? As I’d written in a previous post, I’m no longer seeking them…but to those I’ve already gathered, I’m going to use. Again, I reiterate: all those who have written me a cover blurb have actually read my work.
  3. Copyright your work! There is a really good post on this, and it got my ass in gear, now all my work is copyrighted. I always meant to do this, it got lost in the shuffle, so, thanks, Susan (Susan Spann has been most helpful to our writing community)!
  4. Don’t respond to e-mails with your favorite (or any, for that matter!) music blasting away! You could get carried away! There, I said it. You think that’s a stupid thing to say, but I love rock and roll, and, well, yes, sometimes I can get a little carried away with the energy of it. Music can and does change your state of mind, and you don’t want to get cocky. Just sayin’.
  5. Putting a price on your cover. When I first noted this item, I was of the mind to put a price on your book when printing the cover (if you can). It’s been mentioned a couple times on sites/sellers of books. I’ve asked my community about it, and I don’t remember anyone responding, so I don’t take it as being all that important. The more I thought about it, the more I came up with: why? In today’s world, that only really seems applicable to brick-and-mortar bookstores. So, I’m backing off the need for that. I don’t think you need to have that anymore. That’s old school (unless someone reading this can give me a good reason to do so). Everyone discounts books, even the brick-and-mortar stores. Indie authors cut deals left and right. Why would this be a necessity anymore?
  6. Be quick to apologize! Never be afraid to say you’re sorry for something you may have done, even if you’re not sure you’ve actually done something wrong. I am constantly amazed at how few people in the world actually apologize for anything, especially men. You got it. Men, friggin Man-the-HELL-up and take goddamn responsibility for your actions. I see it so much in my day job it pisses me off (and had another experience with exactly this just yesterday!). I forget why I’d originally included this item, but the point is salient. Get off your Ego Podiums!
  7. WP blogging: check that your saves are actually saved! Good Lord, this bites me more than I care to consider—and other WP bloggers! Yet, every time I contact WP about this, it’s like the first time they’ve ever heard about it! It’s not, WP, so please, fix the damned issue! Below the post window, on the right, there’s a “Draft saved at…” timestamp, and below that is a “Revisions” history. Checks these areas frequently!  Can’t emphasize this enough! Check them every time you save, to make sure your save—whether it’s a “Ctrl-S” or “Save Draft” selection—that they actually have taken. Especially if you’ve completed an initial post then been away from that post for a long time, like hours or days, and come back. Copy your text into Word or Notepad as you’re working. Highlight and copy into your clipboard what you’ve worked on periodically. If you happen to get a message that has the words to the effect “Do you really want to do this“…it’s too late. You’re screwed. You’ll keep what you last entered and saved, but anything after that last “official” save is forever gone.
  8. Cut your losses. If something’s not working out for you, detach yourself from it. Remove yourself from it. I recently had to do that with something with which I’d been associated for a very long time. It’s going  its way, I’m going mine. C’est la vie. Move on. Don’t keep the “bad energy” in your Weltanschauung. Don’t bad talk whatever it is…just move on.
  9. Not all advice is good. Everyone has an opinion, just like me, but not everything we give will work for you. And—I have to say this—not everyone knows what they’re talking about! Not everyone truly understands Indie publishing! And…some are actively trying to still discredit Indie publishing, because they’re in Traditional publishing, are pissed, scared, Old School, whatever, and are trying to interdict, spoof, and (argh, I’ve forgotten the term!) intentionally direct you away from your chosen path. Be aware. Consider all you hear with a block of salt. And remember this: there are always a million reasons not to do something…but, you only need to find one reason to change. Make the break and create a new path for yourself. This, however, is one guy who has his shit together: Bob Mayer. Read his stuff.
  10. Not everything you write is publishable! This should be obvious! Going Indie may give you license to publish everything you write, but everything you write is not necessarily publishable.
  11. Keep writing.

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Writing The Distasteful

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No Frills, No Thrills. (Gregorio De Ferrari [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)
No Frills, No Thrills. (Gregorio De Ferrari [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)
I do not like violence.

I like writing about it even less.

While working the Psychic manuscript, I have great misgivings about  how nasty I should go, regarding a certain scene that comes later in the book (to be honest, I have a couple scenes, but one, in particular, really bugs me).

Do I back off it, or give it its full measure?

It’s not a pleasant scene. Very distasteful to write.

I’ve written plenty of distasteful stuff over my writing career, most of it may never be seen, since it was my early horror writing years (unless I do a collection of my short stories—which I really want to do!—and clean up the more presentable works…). In The Uninvited, I have some nasty scenes. And after writing my last post, many might well wonder, what the hell, Frank? Really? Practice what you preach, man!

Being a writer puts a person in an interesting position. For one thing, when you write something, people wonder how much of it is really “you.” I get it. It’s like when I hear songs, I often wonder the same of the groups singing them. Curiously, I don’t necessarily think the same of writers, because I do understand the process…that just because a writer writes something inflaming or physically nasty or offending doesn’t necessarily mean the writer is the same. I do begin to question that, however, if there is a series and they’re all nasty (I’m defining “nasty” as incredibly violence, distasteful, offending in some manner, beyond just taking a haymaker to the head or saying “someone was raped”).

You see, when you write “nasty,” you have to focus on that. The nasty thing you’re writing. For extended periods of time. And when you focus on something for so long, it’s in your mind. A lot. Even when not writing. I don’t like to focus on the negative and violent. So, any time I do have to write a violent scene, I try to make it as short as possible, while not cheating the story. When I write violent scenes (say the front lawn bathtub scene in Uninvited), they serve to advance the story in a way merely talking about them, “politely referring to them,” simply cannot do. I need to show the bad side of a character or event for a reason…whatever that reason is. I may not even know that reason…you see, I don’t outline ahead of time. I don’t preplan. When I write a story, I let it flow out of me, on its own. It’s called “organic” writing. I just sit down to the keyboard and start typing. It’s only later, when I “reverse outline” the book, that is, I list out in outline form the beats of the story. Then I rework, reshuffle, edit x 3 my work. But as I’m laying down the first draft, I allow the story to come to me in its own form…its own way. I do not censor in any way. I don’t sit and think, “Gee…it would be really cool if this scene was in there…” or “Wow, something more graphic would really stir up the pot!” The story reveals itself to me on its own. In its own way. Afterward, I may or may not do some of this (and, in fact, I did add an “inorganic” scene to this novel, after a friend of mine read the thing and made a suggestion that just nailed the whole “Victor Black” thread…). I will, however, embellish.

So…I have to be true to the story.

If all I did was gloss over certain things I found objectionable, it would be akin to the old “No Frills” books that had been put out in 1950s. Fifty or sixty pages long. “He was abducted and tortured. The good guys came, killed the bad guys, and released him. He went home.” There’s no emotional investment in any of that. Nothing to get you all riled up and pissed off at the adversaries. To really root for the hero/ine…feel his or her pain and, later, redemption. It’s not like the writer has to get incredibly graphic…but they do have to give you enough…mentally or physically—even spiritually—to make that point. Make you feel a part of the story. Sympathize with the characters. Drive that emotional stake into your soul.

So, this section has bugged me, since I wrote it, 14 years ago. I’ve reworked it, thought about removing it. Gave it less shrift than it deserved, perhaps, but finally decided to dive into it and face it. I’ve been working on it some 2 1/2 weeks. Maybe it’s just that I’ve been so focused on it this past few weeks that it’s become a “issue” for me, and it’s really nothing at all to be worried about, but, I think I’ve done all I can with it (for now), and am leaving it for a spell. See what my proofreader thinks about it.

But, in any case, I simply need to get away from it!

It’s tough when your spouse asks you if you had a good morning of writing. “Yeah! Sure did! Man, wrote a killer scene in which a person gets (<brutalized>). Repeatedly. Man, the things I thought of reworking that scene (Being intentionally vague, here, since don’t want to give the scene away)!

So, don’t take me (or other writers like me) to task over these things…don’t ask me why do I think of this shit. Don’t rub my nose in them. They are what they are, and they came with the telling of the story. I didn’t sit around thinking of them, trying to come up with their horrific content. I don’t walk this Earth contemplating mean and nasty ways to abuse others. But, when the story demands a needed scene, I try not to shy away from it. If my stories don’t “ring true” (verisimilitude) to real life enough…my stories won’t work, because I deal with real life situations, not fantasy writing.

And there’s another consideration.

What if…these stories I’m relating…have something to do with other lives of mine. A Zen reincarnational aspect to my life, where I’m releasing and dealing with tendencies from other lives in a more positive and less violence manner than I may have in those other lives? I do believe I’ve lived and fought in the Civil War, was a WWII B-17 tail gunner…and it’s been mentioned another thought I might have been a Roman soldier.

It always comes back to the metaphysical for me, doesn’t it?

But might there be some truth to this? We don’t know everything. And, it’s all energy…good and bad, are forms of energy. If I have had more violent existences in other lives, maybe my writing is giving a cathartic release to that type of energy and yielding a more positive growth experience for all involved?

It’s something to think about.

I know, on the cosmic scale of things, to readers, this [most likely] won’t be a big deal…but to me, the writer, to my constant focus on the subject matter for 2 1/2 weeks, it was problematic. I think I’ve worked through it, I think I did it justice…and that scene will make a later scene even that much more “sweeter.” Okay, maybe “sweeter” isn’t a good word choice. More justified.

And, I know, I can’t please everyone. It’s impossible. There’s good and bad out there, and in my work, I do try to mirror that so that—in some way—I can help explain it. And in explaining it from my point of view, hopefully see how we can do better. Give new or different points of view from which to act…and if the points of view are no different, maybe the words are expressed differently enough so that the end result is easier to see, to act upon in our own lives.

Again, these scene just come with the story.

In the end, I am driven to write. These stories beg my attention. I do my best with them.

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Going Indie—What I’ve Learned (So Far)—Part 9

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Pay or Die! By W. M. Goodes (Nye, Bill: “Bill Nye’s History of England” (1900)) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.
Pay or Die! By W. M. Goodes (Nye, Bill: “Bill Nye’s History of England” (1900)) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.
Taxes.

Note to IRS: Writing is NOT a hobby to me.

We had our taxes done this past week, and, once again, I got hit with the standard spiel about “Hobby/Loss” rules. About my pitiful pittance of so-called “profit.”

Why?

Because I’d spent a couple thou on releasing two novels of mine last year (not counting my normal writing expenses) and hadn’t made a profit. Though I was physically and mentally exhausted at this tax meeting, and was, admittedly, a bit angry with the same (insert favorite expletive) admonishment I’ve been receiving since about 1987, I don’t really hold it against the man reading me the riot act. He’s just part of the process and covering his ass. Making sure I understand the position of my ass. I get that. But I was tired. Even a little annoyed at myself for how much I’d spent and at the small return—especially once I saw how many e-books were downloaded and no associated reviews or whatever (even bad ones) with all those downloads. Free downloads. Sure, Mark Coker (whom I’ve met and talked with—and a super, super GREAT guy) and the rest say that’s that M.O. for Indie publishing—giveaways. They will earn themselves out sometime…near or far future…but still…I was miffed. I gave away hundreds of books, and figured they were all languishing in the dark, dank corners of hundreds of harddrives, ignored and never to be read. Bit fillers.

Okay, I’m projecting and generalizing, there, because I was tired, but that was what was going through my mind. I can’t assume to know everyone’s mindset when they acquired my work, but I was happy that so many had acquired them. At that point, I just wasn’t happy with the lack of the almighty frigging important profits…and I was unhappy with the mere thought of profits!

Profits.

You see, folks, taxes bring out the weak links in businesses. The whole idea behind businesses, we are taught, is to make money. Not that we make the world a better place by the businesses we bring into existence, not that we’re out to help others. Not any other thing—

Profits.

Yes, that severely chafes me. Because every year I have to put my Business Hat on and talk money.

Artists don’t like talking money.

We don’t do what we do for the money. But…if we want to live…we have to make some sort of remuneration. Many of us have other jobs that do make money…but all of us, well nearly all of us—I don’t presume to know everyone’s motives—would love to be able to do the one thing that keeps us going…that feeds our souls…and make a living at that.

The IRS.

But this conflicts with IRS rules and regulations, if you’re making any money. Cause, if you make money, you must pay the piper. I don’t mind paying the piper. The piper is fine. We live in a great country, and somehow, we have to pay for things in this great country, and taxes are our mechanism. Live with it. Get over it. Taxes are how we get to reap the benefits of living where we live…whether or not they are properly managed is a whole ‘nother, exhausting argument.

I don’t want to bore with all the intricacies of the IRS Code, because I don’t know it and would have to research it, and, frankly, I’d rather force-vomit-up repeatedly the entire day than have to read that stuff, but here are some case studies on the matter of writers and taxes. The basic takeaways are:

  1. Treat writing like a business.
  2. Must prove the intent of making a profit in the business of writing.
  3. If no profit is made, show that it was due to circumstances beyond one’s control, like customary business risks, casualty losses, or depressed market conditions.

Now, I’m oversimplifying, and there are many and various methods to those steps, and I’m not gonna get into them, because I’m not legal counsel and the tax law is far more complex than it needs to be, but check out that link for interesting case studies and consult your tax folk. It’s interesting that there are cases where the IRS deemed a writer as not a writer-for-profit, the case then taken to court, and the court decreed that the writer was a writer-for-profit. So, all is not lost. One of the other things in those cases, was that the writer had to prove that their not making a profit was due to the third item above. In any event, nothing’s easy, nothing’s a given. You have to make every effort to treat your writing like the business it is, if you want to claim anything on your taxes and not use hobby/loss rules. There’s always a chance you could get audited, but, if you do, you can still “win,” as long as all your ducks are in a row.

Okay, so in the interests of showing how business-like I am, here is what I’m doing, plus/minus:

  1. I get up every damn day (twice on Sundays…okay, also Mondays-Saturdays, since I appear to have RLS), whether or not I feel like doing it, and write something. Promote.
  2. I log all my time on the computer for all my writing time.
  3. I log my submissions and important events in a logbook.
  4. I spreadsheet all expenses, income, and mileage.
  5. I spreadsheet inventory.
  6. I blog.
  7. I interact on social media (WordPress, Twitter, Pinterest, FB, AboutMe, LinkedIn the occasional online forum, like, currently, an Amazon forum).
  8. I push the Indie Publishing agenda.
  9. I interview on traditional and Internet radio.
  10. I try to get any gig where I can to advance the Indie Agenda, and get my work out there.
  11. I annoy and guilt others into buying my book, when severely hopped up on caffeine—which, I’m finding, I seem to need more of as I get older. Iced Tea doesn’t seem to be cutting it any longer (see RLS, above). I do same, to get readers to review my work. Note: why do I do this? I do it so others will see how much other readers have liked the book, so they, too, might like it and buy. If this was just for a frigging hobby, I could give a shit if someone liked it or not (as in I’d be doing it for my benefit and relaxation and it doesn’t matter if you like or don’t like that…) and wouldn’t keep embarrassing myself into asking readers for reviews—even short ones. My ego does not need stroking (some might say it strokes itself…). But, again, I’d really like to make a living off this stuff, so….
  12. I try to get writer conference sessions.
  13. I’ve submitted my work for official reviews, like The Midwest Book Review and BookReview.com (whose link, curiously, seems to be down, since I sent my work to them…).
  14. Am constantly prowling (yes, prowling) for any opportunity to further advance the cause of my work (note, I didn’t say me…my work…). I’ve even got my dad trying to sell my books in upstate New York. Any of you can also help out by trying to get me in anywhere you’d think I’d fit (note, I’m not 165 lbs…am currently about 200, so keep that in mind). Get me a radio phoner interview (where I’d call in, versus showing up in-studio), invite me to your library or writer/reader groups, if in driving distance (or “they” pay for my airfare and hotel…  :-] ), send links to my work all over the planet, talk my books up whenever you can, interview me for your blog. I’m a fun guy. Witty sometimes. See, I am prowling, even trolling (note double entendre, which, originally, was “double entente,” c. 1670s)…

Thing is, I’m no longer 23 and can’t do 20-hour days anymore. I do do (go on, laugh, it’s allowed) 18-hour days, though. I have a day job that’s frequently been more than just a day job and do get quite exhausted by day’s end, so that curtails evening events (frequent ones, anyway) at the moment. I also workout after work. That takes a couple hours. Staying fit is important on many levels, but to Mr. and Mrs. IRS that should mean it makes me a lean-mean-profit-making-machine. Or tries to, anyway, but, given the glutted publishing market and “customary business risks, casualty losses, or depressed market conditions,” it’s hard to break into and make a profit in the publishing world. But I’m still in there swinging. Because I lift weights. Cardio give me longevity.

Now, yes, some of this all might sound decidedly mercenary (in actuality, reviews are not just about the promotion to me, I’m truly curious about how people interpret and feel about the stories; I’ve written them to touch and impact in some way, even inform…), take some of the romanticism out of us writers, but, sigh, we’re just trying to make a living. We’re not egotistical—most of us don’t even like the limelight—but we have a driving need to write. To convey stories we hope others might find fun or interesting. What do each of you do to stay employed? How do each of you sell yourselves? It’s a true pity so much focus is put on profitability, but you have to also look at it from the IRS’s point of view: people cheat. Once you understand that, everything else falls into place.

Don’t hate the writer. We just wanna write…and without us, you don’t have anything to read.

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