F. P. Dorchak

Speculative Fiction (New Weird) Author

To Be Human

A Christmas Story

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Merry Christmas to one and all!

And to those who celebrate any other holiday within this timeframe, I wish you all the very best and all the same well wishes!

But…what does Christmas mean to me?

A Red Ryder-carbine-action-two-hundred-shot-range-model-air-rifle-with-a-compass-in-its-stock-and-a-thing-which-tells-time.

I have no issue with the religious celebrating Christmas as they do…I just do not share your religion.

But.

I still enjoy the season just the same!

I’m not of the traditional religion. Nor non-traditional. I’m just not…”religious.” To me Christmas means peace. And joy. Among other things, it also means being with family. Enjoying their company, and their company enjoying your company. It’s the spirit (yes, “spirit“) of giving—and receiving. It’s reliving Christmases of old…experiencing Christmases of new. It’s enjoying many people enjoying (or trying to!) the season, and therefore life itself. Its people enjoying their own versions of Christmas, both religious and not. It’s one huge time of year where most people try to make a concerted effort to be a little…nicer.

Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved.

Okay, tackling you to get at the last Xbox 360 with Kinect or Kindle, or cutting you off for that parking spot as they spill their piping hot Starbucks into their laps, notwithstanding.

And I’ll take one day a year over zero any time (but I know the number’s quite higher)…with the optimistic hope that such behavior will carry over a bit more into their daily lives. I enjoy the spirit of everyone trying to be a better Human and hope that people will stop killing each other and politicians will start acting like the adults they’re rumored to be.

But, that’s not all.

It means watching my favorite Christmas movies! Eating my favorite Christmas food! Writing Christmas cards and letters! Christmas trees and all the trimmings! Colorful lights! Festive music! Admittedly, I look forward to seeing what others give to me (and, heck, yeah, it’s fun)—and look forward to how they feel about what I give them (this is just as much fun)! It’s the metaphysical “feel” of the season I try to experience in my own, personal, metaphysical way. I love the snow and hope for the proverbial “White Christmas” (as a kid, that’s what we had every year, no exceptions—upstate New York).

So, maybe I did a good enough job explaining what Christmas is to me, maybe I didn’t. But it’s my version, and allows for other versions to coexist. Christmas may have started for one reason (religious) or another (secular), but as is the case with other things in life, it has taken on more in its journey through the ages. It means many things to many people, but it all seems to join at various versions of family, peace, love, and understanding. Let’s all try to be so accommodating.

And a Red Ryder-carbine-action-two-hundred-shot-range-model-air-rifle-with-a-compass-in-its-stock-and-a-thing-which-tells-time.

Perhaps not.  But I love that movie–A Christmas Story. It’s one of my favorites, as well as It’s a Wonderful Life. So, go on, rent them. Watch them.

Just don’t shoot your eye out in the process.

Dexter

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Deutsch: Logo von Dexter
Deutsch: Logo von Dexter (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Okay, this might surprise you…it might not: I love the ShowTime original, Dexter.

There—I said it.

It feels…kinda freeing!

Why?

Well, the show is about a “good” serial killer. One who kills only the wicked. But, he takes it a wee bit further, in that, well—there’s no mincing words (pardon the pun)—he cuts up his victims, shoves them into bags, and tosses them into the ocean off the coast of Florida. And it’s on ShowTime, so you can imagine some of the scenes.

But hold on just a minute! Stick with me just a little longer.

I almost stopped watching this show in its first and second seasons (not sure exactly where this happened). But, then the producers did something that really got my attention: they stopped focusing on all the gore.

Now, mind you, the writing, acting, story, cinematography—all were absolutely stunning. Intelligently written. Powerful. Brilliant. This show is so damned well-crafted. Those who call the shots did something I really have to laud them for—they could have continued/turned this show into a real gorefest, but they decided to go beyond all the explicit camera shots and focus instead on the story. The characters.

And what an outstanding decision that was.

I still—and never have—agreed with the story’s contention that Dexter became the way he is because he’d watched his own mother butchered at such a tender young age, and had been literally left sitting in an inch or so of her blood and gore in a shipyard cargo container until found by the cops. In my mind, I’d think such an atrocity would scare a human away from such blood and gore…but the human mind can and does react in ways that defy definition. And in my mind, I translate his path in life more to reincarnational events. But whatever the reason, once you get past such logic, the show is perhaps the most powerful thing on TV, paid channel or not. My wife totally nails it in describing this show:

You’re holding your breath. You can’t breathe. You’re on the edge of your seat the entire time.

And only when the episode ends, do you inhale.

Exhausted.

Exhilarated!

But there are only three more episodes left, before the series go off the air. There are always DVDs (which I haven’t checked). But you have to get through the first couple seasons of gore to really get into the spellbinding stories that will abso-frigging-lutely rivet you.

As I’ve talked with my mother and others about this show, I can’t help but wonder what acting (or, er, watching…) in such a show can do to you. Your psyche. Michael C. Hall, who plays Dexter, recently went through a fight with cancer, and the show had to be delayed. But he’s back, and he’s just as powerful and brilliant as ever. All the characters on this show—Dexter Morgan’s sister, Debra (actor Jennifer Carpenter and Michael C. Hall are married in real life—and doesn’t she look like the long-gone Karen Carpenter! Tell me I’m not the only one to see this!); Quinn, Masuka (love his sick humor!), Laguerta, Batista, and father, Harry—are so perfectly cast, so incredibly well-acted. They are jaw-dropping to watch. How they fight with their own demons, many of which are every bit as powerful as the show’s main drive. And some of Dexter’s adversaries (two of my favorite villains are portrayed by John Lithgow and the current one, Ray Stevenson)—man, I’m simply running out of adjectives, here! Chilling!

But, what you do cannot help but transform you.

We can speculate all day back and forth, about why people do what they do, in real life and as actors, but I’m just thankful that the producers took the show in a new direction, took the High Road, because I’m just not a Gore Guy.

Man…I’ve been wanting to write about this for so long. It feels sooo…

Cathartic.

Gonna miss this show.

Okay. Think we’ll cut up some steak tonight.

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Follow Me If You Wanna Live

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The other day, as I was working on my newest manuscript, an action/adventure conspiracy theory, and fielding some tweets and such, it dawned on me in a way it had never really “reached me” that when you gather a following, you’ve created, well, an extended family. And as with your traditional family, you don’t really want to let your family “down” in anything you do. This includes (in the not-exactly-saving-the-world writer life I live, cause I know some are actually saving lives out there…) blog posts, tweets, responding to e-mails, grippin’-and-grinnin’ out in the “wild,” in public, et cet.

Yeah, I knew this on an intellectual level, but it just kinda hit me in a way that made me shake my head as if hit by a haymaker.

It’s not anywhere near like I’m any kind of a household name, but I do have a growing list of followers…and these people—yes, they’re flesh-and-blood people, not just “followers”—are following me for a reason. Now, sure that reason could be “just” to further their own purposes, and that’s fine, but it’s also because they might have found something of interest in me and my efforts—just like with any of you out there. When each of us clicks that “Follow,” I’m thinking many-to-most of us don’t just do it willy-nilly. That we kinda pick people who do something that interests us or aligns with us in some way. So, the reverse is true. That just hit me in a deeper, Zen-like way the other day.

We’re upholding a “public trust,” of sorts. We all are, those of us who publicly perform anything. And it behooves us to do our best in not letting people down with our efforts. Not discounting our audience. Putting forth our best efforts. Caring about what we put out into the Universe.

And then I thought about my work. Good Lord, what would happen were I to actually sell this series of mine…where people were to buy my efforts and actually want to see more?

Again, intellectually, knew all this. Was just experiencing this idea from another point of view.

And, no, I’m not jumping the gun. Just toying with concepts, as I usually do; finally fully grasping the emotional gravity of “just trying to sell a book.” Cause it’s far more than that—just selling books—about making money. It’s about creating relationships. It’s about

People.

Flesh and blood (you know…as opposed to zombies and all that undead rot—not that I’d turn any of them away, either!)

It’s about not letting anyone down with sub-par efforts. Respecting the readership.

That’s what I felt. A kind of far-reaching feel to everything, of an emotion depth extending out into the world. That everything I feel and do about what I read…each and every one of you do, too. You’re not just a stat number, a mere point-of-purchase drone. You’re a person, with real likes and dislikes, troubles, goals—a life—and you’re taking time out of your day to check me out, see what I’m about. Spend some time reading my words. And I need to respect that.

Perhaps I’m overthinking it, but I respect your choice in following me and I deeply thank each of you. I always promise to put my best effort forward, and I thank you for taking the time out of your day to stop by and read my posts, short stories, or novel.

Tis the Season—Gift Ideas

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A Christmas Story

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, but now comes “the Home Stretch,” for what I term “the Holiday Season,” which starts with Hallowe’en.

Now, I know everyone has their own view on Christmas and the other holidays celebrated this next month, and I certainly have zero issues with any of it.  I think it’s great we can all celebrate any holiday, in our own individual ways, and have a great time doing it. We need to celebrate and enjoy every so often. There’s a lot going on in the world, both good and bad, but, IMHO, Humanity needs to celebrate and consider the good and fortunate we have in our lives. I understand not everyone can, nor can at the same time most can. Some cannot at all, and to them, my heart genuinely goes out to them. If we lose the ability to see the good in life, and only focus on the bad, then we all lose. For those who cannot see the good, sometimes, I think, just knowing it exists out there can be of some benefit, consciously or unconsciously. I think, deep down, inside all of us, even when we go through rough times, we know “this, too, shall pass,” and that when it does, we’ll be back into the good life has to offer.

So, however and whenever we celebrate, I cannot think of one person I know who does not buy a gift or two for those they love or care about. It’s what Humans do—we like to give. We like to make those we care about happy. Giving gifts is just one way of doing this, but sometimes it’s hard to come up with something well-thought-out. So, since I’m in this with the rest of you, I’ve decided to list some items to hopefully help out, get some of the creative thoughts flowing. If you have some great ideas, please, stop by and list them! It’s fun!

Here are my suggestions, in no particular order and whether or not I actually own them.  Enjoy!

  1. Twilight Zone DVDs/Blu-Rays
  2. The Night Gallery DVDs/Blu-Rays
  3. X-Files DVDs/Blu-Rays
  4. The Lone Gunmen DVDs/Blu-Rays
  5. Kolchak: The Night Stalker DVDs/Blu-Rays
  6. The Grievers (novel—see my review and demand of it; loved it!)
  7. Dracula (classic novel—I’m rereading it for the 4th time!)
  8. Help make a movie—Class Clown Pictures donation
  9. Volbeat’s Beyond Heaven Above Hell (love the poignant “Fallen” track)
  10. iPad mini (I call it the “miPad”)
  11. A stand-up writing desk (can’t find the one I wanted to link to, but you get the idea)
  12. Create a Creative Memories book, calendar, photo album, etc.
  13. An iced tea maker (though I use an older version, use this tons…)
  14. Gift certificate for a cool, atmosphere/romantic restaurant
  15. A Leatherman mulit-tool (these are so danged useful!)
  16. Real NYS or Vermont maple syrup. There is no other kind.
  17. A theracane (oooh, these are incredible!)
  18. Foreign Language DVDs (I loved learning foreign languages, hope to do so again, soon)
  19. An Adirondack Paddle tie-tack
  20. A Christmas Story DVD (if you’ve never seen this, you gotta watch it!)

McColloms Cemetery, Brighton, New York

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McColloms Cemetery, Upstate New York
McColloms Cemetery, Upstate New York

For the past week, I’ve been in waaay upstate New York (about an hour south of Montréal), visiting family, and while there stopped by a small cemetery I’ve been wanting to stop by for literally many, many years, and never had. I’ve driven past this cemetery for so long, both as a high school kid on the after-school athletic bus to and from athletic “meets,” or on the after-school “late bus” dropping everyone one off after after-school sports practices (more likely this), as well as an adult visiting family.

I’ve kept from inserting a comma between the “m” and “s” in this post, since there’s not one on the cemetery’s sign.

McColloms Cemetery is a private cemetery (which I did not know at the time—and no one came out to meet us while we were there), located on Route 30, 6.3 miles north of the intersection with Route 86, in the town of Brighton, NY, which was first settled around 1815.

One of the headstones is for Michael Samburgh (1959 – 1988). I knew him in high school, and found his picture in my year book the year before I graduated.  Rest in peace, Micheal.