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F. P. Dorchak

Speculative Fiction (New Weird) Author

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Transitions – Evil Plan II

April 26, 2017 by fpdorchak

As I’d previously mentioned in my last Evil Plan™ post, I am transitioning over to a self-hosted site on WordPress.org. The intent of this move was to consolidate my blog posts with my website so it would be easier to manage both.

Weeell, things have not turned out so gracefully.

As things currently stand certain things promised don’t seem to be able to be delivered quite as easily as presented. #ThatsHowTheyGetcha

I really hate to complain—I really do—but the way the whole “move over to us–it’s easy” is anything but and it looks like I may well lose all my blog posts from this site, Runnin Off At The Mouth (ROATM). Unless I keep this account active. Which I did NOT want to do. I wanted to export my posts from ROATM and Reality Check (RC) and terminate my WordPress.COM account, and just have my new account, fpdorchak.com, on the WordPress.ORG location. The long and the short of it is that after a brutal setup experience that involved me getting redirected all across God’s green Earth and many, many e-mail problem tickets, IMs, and even phone calls, I finally got my new fpdorchak.com site up and running. then I tried to import my blog posts. The RC posts all came over easily. Yea, I was happy! Then I tried ROATM: nope. Instead of one file to import, they had to split my data up into two files. Then, just like the scarecrow in that classic Wizard of Oz scene, WordPress kept directing me to Blue Host (BH; my server for my new site) and BH kept directing me BACK to WP. WP says all you have to do is ask BH to expand your memory settings to allow you to import the larger files. I’m here to tell that does NOT work. And I have spent two weeks trying to get it to work. So WP does NOT know what they’re talking about. BH doesn’t even what that means. They copied all my stuff over onto their BH server…but guess what? Through the miracle of technology I cannot access that data.

Then I found there’s a WP service (for $129) where they tell you “let US do the heavy lifting and move all your stuff over.” What they don’t tell you until you read the fine print is that it’s a mirror of your WP.COM site and will totally OVERWRITE any work you did on your new WP.ORG site. That means you’ll have to totally reconfigure the theme you created. And after just spending two weeks of frustrated HELL being redirected all over God’s green Earth and countless e-mail tickets to figure out how to do what I finally got, not only no but HELL NO am I going to go through all that again. And, BTW, the Happiness Engineer I’d be working with on this? He doesn’t know much about the Studio Press themes I used for fpdorchak.com.

So, I’m here to tell you that I might be losing all these posts and your kind patronage—unless WP.com can figure out a way to export ONLY MY BLOG POSTS and your links to my new location. I do not want to transfer everything there (theme, posts, menus, etc)—I don’t want that. Just the posts. Why should that be so danged difficult? Well, apparently, through the world of high technology…it is.

So. I have not yet heard back from them, but writing this post has been extremely difficult…like it’s being “accessed” in some way…because it’s severely delaying my typing, I don’t always see the cursor “I-bar,” and the words I type keep pausing, so MAYBE they (being them) have found a way to do this. Don’t know. But in case it all falls flat, I humble ask that all my kind readers go over to my new location and and please sign up for my blogs at www.fpdorchak.com/blog/ and scroll to the very bottom of the page and subscribe by e-mail there.

I am a very patient man, but this has truly tested my limits. I realize Studio Press is brand new, but they simply went to market too quickly before created a sold, consolidated set of procedures that clearly state what one has to do with WP.com, WP.org, Studio Press (SP), and whatever hosting platform you take on. And, be aware, that whatever you do with these folks, PLEASE, for the love of Bogey, port over your existing WP.com site BEFORE adding your new SP themes. You WILL have to redo all you work. I’m told there is no way around it, though when I imported my RC blog posts, it did NOT mess up my new SP Author Pro theme, so I really have NO IDEA what these Happiness Engineers are talking about or if they truly understand what happens with whatever the hell it is they think they’re doing.

My God, I’m in hell!

Again, pardon my ranting. I hope things can work themselves out, but I am very, very frustrated right now. I don’t know if I’ll keep this account open or not yet. I need to allow my frustration levels to bubble the hell off so I can see clearly—and who knows, maybe my Happiness Engineers WILL find a solution.

In any event, please sign up for my blogs at www.fpdorchak.com/blog/ and scroll to the very bottom of the page and subscribe by e-mail there.

Thank you..and thank for your kind patronage and support over the years. And pardon my ire, my frustration. It’s been three weeks of utter insanity.

BREATHE, Frank, BREEEATHE….

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Writing Tagged With: Blogs, Blue Host, Frustration, Hell, Studio Press, Technology, Transferring Blogs, WordPress

My Evil Plan

April 7, 2017 by fpdorchak

My Evil Plan™—which I’ve been formulatin’ for a spell (pardon the pun)—is to consolidate my in-need-of-update website with my blogs through use of WordPress.org. So I can go to one place and manage my stuff. I plan on using a StudioPress theme, a new host for fpdorchak.com, then sucking over all my WordPress posts and whatnot. Y’all’ll still get my posts. I’m told.

So far it’s been anything but graceful.

It has been a barrel of headaches and frustration.

None of the above-mentioned organizations seamlessly interact with the other—though they make innuendoes to the effect. Talk about how well they work with each other.

Yeah…no.

In no short order I discovered how messed up it all is. It’s exactly like the initial scarecrow scene in The Wizard of Oz. Exactly. Right down to me falling all over the place with straw falling out of my head and gut.

You see, several things are not made as clear as they should be, and nowhere do I find succinct, consolidated procedures. Though StudioPress claims to give step-by-step procedures. As does WordPress.org. And Blue Host. And a couple not-associated places also do. And you know what? They’re different.

I’ve tried to give them the benefit of the doubt that I’m just stupid…but even that falls flat. Though, in all fairness, the help aspects of all involved were timely and professional…even if they did occasionally echo existing “procedures.” I had to do a lot of digging on my own. A wizard would be a great idea in setting this stuff up…

If I only had a brain!

But enough complaining!

Hopefully my domain name (fpdorchak) will transfer over in the next week and my new host (where my revamped website will sit) will capture it without any more issues. Then I’ll be able to do all this other stuff that all the procedures claim I can do. Like download themes and transfer blog posts. Rebuild a better mousetrap. A website that’s up-to-date and cooler looking. That consolidates my blogs and site. Sell books from it. I have high hopes.

And I really am looking forward to it! I just have to walk away from all the above and let my head air out. Or fill in. Whatever. In any event, I hope you all like what I have planned. It will be under http://www.fpdorchak.com. I could never remember my blog post URLs.

So my WordPress.com account will then be terminated and you’ll be redirected to my new host…through WordPress.org…by way of a StudioPress design…on a Blue Host platform.

Got it?

Filed Under: Technology, Writing Tagged With: Blog Sites, Blue Host, Moving, StudioPress, Websites, Wizard of Oz, WordPress.org

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