F. P. Dorchak

Speculative Fiction (New Weird) Author

Photography

Voice Is Released!

by

Voice. (© 2015, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)
Voice. (© 2015, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)

Sex, love, and metaphysics. This intense sometimes explicit story is about what people do in the dark…especially when they’re hiding from themselves. A daring, sexy—even inspirational—read that explores relationships both familial and romantic and the tragedies that result from fractures in both. Voice is hard-hitting and unflinching…even uncomfortable…a novel for anyone who’s ever loved more than one.

After 16 years (18 if you count start to finish) and much angst, this novel is finally seeing the light of day! It’s also my longest published novel to date, at over 120,000 words.

Voice—my sexy, visionary fiction—is now available! Is it literary? Visionary? Erotica? Romance?

Truly, it is a little of each. But, whatever it is, it is my most mainstream effort ever. As I’ve said multiple times, I never wrote it, never intended it as erotic fiction. I still don’t even picture the story that way in my head. It is a story about people. It happens to have some explicit sex scenes in it, just like some novels have explicit violence in them. It turns out I actually wrote it as more of a love story: it’s a story about a guy who falls in love with a voice in his head.

That’s it.

I never had the plot nor story outlined…it just came to me as I wrote it. And I honestly did not know how it was going to end until I hit the “.” key after the last word in the manuscript. I do not exaggerate. I remember this vividly: I was banging along on the keyboard, excited how things had unfolded…wrote the last word. Hit the period key. Went to add a next page…and paused.

It was perfect. It surprised me. I ended it right there.

I’ve written a few “apologetic” pieces about the whole “erotica thing,” but…no more apologies.

It is what it is.

Writing Voice did more than expand my writing…it expanded my mind. My understanding of what I feel I’m capable of doing. Voice helped me go to emotional depths I’d never gone to before. At least in my own head. You, the readers, will tell me if I hit the mark or not. But, writing Voice took me down emotional rabbit holes. I found ways to write about the deep, sometimes hidden and painfully emotional details deep within stories. Which is really want I’ve wanted to do and hope I can do again. I’ve always wanted to write powerfully moving stories about the human condition. I didn’t want to just write about aliens or the supernatural. I wanted to write stories that were emotionally kick-ass as well as paranormal. I want to make people cry. Anger them. Excite them. Voice helped me learn how to “go there.” In Psychic I wrote a highly unpleasant rape scene. It was needed, so I did it. I didn’t flinch away from it. That scene’s power and mechanics came from having written Voice. In The Uninvited, I wrote graphic violence. I had to. They were important to the emotional context of the story. The ability to write out those scenes grew out of having worked on Voice.

And the utter irony?

When I finally made my way back to Voice and made that decision to actually follow through and put it out there…all the work I’d done on all my other novels all came back to help in making Voice the absolutely best, the most honest, emotional, and powerfully uncomfortable work I’ve ever created. And I’m proud of it—and I don’t use words like “pride.” If it wasn’t for Voice, none of the other novels would have been as good as they are…and if it wasn’t for the other novels, Voice wouldn’t be as good as it is. Or so I’ve heard from a couple readers (you just can’t trust me…).

And it is a powerful, emotional journey…but, really, that’s up to each of you to determine. I can’t please everyone, as a couple of my reviews show.

Sex, love, and metaphysics. This intense sometimes explicit story is about what people do in the dark…especially when they’re hiding from themselves.

I love this story, the setting. The whole gestalt. ERO and Voice rank as my favorite efforts. I hope you will also get lost in Voice and find the story. I did wonder if a couple of those who proofed and read it would ever talk to me again…and, well, so far they are. So, I have that going for me…which is nice….

Of those who’ve already read it, one reader told me half jokingly she wasn’t sure she could look me in the eyes “just now” when we first talked after her having read it.

That was so cool!

We laughed!

It meant I’d written something that had her look at me differently. And if she looked at me differently…how differently was she also looking at others? The world?

That meant I had expanded someone’s Weltanschauung.

That I had given another a different perspective.

Which is SO cool!

But I hadn’t done this alone!

There were others. Named and unnamed. I can never thank enough those who took a chance on this story—and me—to read it. Those who listened patiently to my conversational angst about should-I-or-shouldn’t-I? In one case, Mandy Pratt, who did the lion’s share of proofing and editing, having spent April to July picking things apart and pointing out misspelled words (dang it!) and messing with my head with shades of meaning—and, oh, let’s not even begin to talk about my own annoying employment of M-dashes and ellipses!

Yes, she kept me honest. Thanks, Mandy!

To Edie, Amy, Karen, Lon, and Joseph—thank you all for taking time out of your life to help out in the various ways you all did! Amy—you read this twice! Amy, an actual editor, read this back in 2002 or 2003…and when I asked if she was up for reading it again, she actually leapt at the chance (okay, maybe not actually launching herself up and into the air, but consider that “artistic license”…)! Karen, for helping me refine my “pitches” (Karen was there at the beginning, waaay back at a writers conference in the late nineties—thank you for sticking with me through all this, Karen!), back cover text, sounding board, et cetera. Joseph Reininger, no longer in the book retail business, was the first to read Voice and, again, waaay back in the 90s, and his reception of it literally stunned me. Never had I ever received such glowing praise (his is the blurb in the front of the novel) for anything I’d written up to that point! And he sold books! Reads tons of them. Wow. Joseph, yes, it’s finally going to see the light of day—thank you for all of your support!

And perhaps the oddest thanks goes to Joelle Yudin.

She was an Associate Editor at HarperCollins from 2000 – 2006. I’d sent a query to a publisher, and the long-and-the-short-of-it was that it had gotten routed to her. She’d read it, and on January 3, 2003, had sent me the following note:

“<Name withheld> passed along your proposal to me for my thoughts. I found the premise to be quite intriguing and so I shared it with my colleagues. Unfortunately, I will be passing, as I could not get them excited about it. I wish you the best of luck with this.”

I looked back in my writing ledger (yes, I have one; I keep track of things like this), and on January 23, 2003, at about 11:20 a.m. MT, I called her.

Yes, actually called her and I actually got her.

I wanted to know why the oligarchy’d passed on it. I do remember she’d been so kind and easy to talk to and didn’t slough me off in the slightest. What I wrote in my ledger was that Joelle said she thought my writing was good, my “voice” (heh-heh, pardon the pun) interesting, but her colleagues thought the manuscript “small,” in that they were unsure if it would “stand up in the market.” That it was “all about the $$$.” That the “size” of the piece wasn’t “large” enough and they recommended a small publisher. Then, at the end of all my notes I’d added: “Very (underlined) nice lady and open and forthcoming. Even said ‘sorry.'”

So, Joelle, I will always remember you and your kindness…your interest in Voice. Thank you for all of it! If I can ever get in contact with you, I’m sending you a gratis copy or two!

So…here it is.

Voice.

Now what??, Mandy had asked. Now what, indeed!

I gotta find something else to work on….

****

Voice is available at Amazon.com (e-book and trade paperback), CreateSpace, Barnesandnoble.com, and Smashwords.com. There will be additional outlets as the distribution “takes.”

If anyone would like a signed paperback, feel free to send this or any other of my work to the following address—WITH THE PROPER POSTAGE OR IT WILL NOT BE RETURNED. I will use any unreturned books as free giveaways. Send to:

F. P. Dorchak, P. O. Box 49393, Colorado Springs, CO 80949.

Related Articles

Voice is Released!

by

Voice. (©2015, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)
Voice. (©2015, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)

Sex, love, and metaphysics. This intense sometimes explicit story is about what people do in the dark…especially when they’re hiding from themselves. A daring, sexy—even inspirational—read that explores relationships both familial and romantic and the tragedies that result from fractures in both. Voice is hard-hitting and unflinching…even uncomfortable…a novel for anyone who’s ever loved more than one.

After 16 years (18 if you count start to finish) and much angst, this novel is finally seeing the light of day! It’s also my longest published novel to date, at over 120,000 words.

Voice—my sexy, visionary fiction—is now available! Is it literary? Visionary? Erotica? Romance?

Truly, it is a little of each. But, whatever it is, it is my most mainstream effort ever. As I’ve said multiple times, I never wrote it, never intended it as erotic fiction. I still don’t even picture the story that way in my head. It is a story about people. It happens to have some explicit sex scenes in it, just like some novels have explicit violence in them. It turns out I actually wrote it as more of a love story: it’s a story about a guy who falls in love with a voice in his head.

That’s it.

I never had the plot nor story outlined…it just came to me as I wrote it. And I honestly did not know how it was going to end until I hit the “.” key after the last word in the manuscript. I do not exaggerate. I remember this vividly: I was banging along on the keyboard, excited how things had unfolded…wrote the last word. Hit the period key. Went to add a next page…and paused.

It was perfect. It surprised me. I ended it right there.

I’ve written a few “apologetic” pieces about the whole “erotica thing,” but…no more apologies.

It is what it is.

Writing Voice did more than expand my writing…it expanded my mind. My understanding of what I feel I’m capable of doing. Voice helped me go to emotional depths I’d never gone to before. At least in my own head. You, the readers, will tell me if I hit the mark or not. But, writing Voice took me down emotional rabbit holes. I found ways to write about the deep, sometimes hidden and painfully emotional details deep within stories. Which is really want I’ve wanted to do and hope I can do again. I’ve always wanted to write powerfully moving stories about the human condition. I didn’t want to just write about aliens or the supernatural. I wanted to write stories that were emotionally kick-ass as well as paranormal. I want to make people cry. Anger them. Excite them. Voice helped me learn how to “go there.” In Psychic I wrote a highly unpleasant rape scene. It was needed, so I did it. I didn’t flinch away from it. That scene’s power and mechanics came from having written Voice. In The Uninvited, I wrote graphic violence. I had to. They were important to the emotional context of the story. The ability to write out those scenes grew out of having worked on Voice.

And the utter irony?

When I finally made my way back to Voice and made that decision to actually follow through and put it out there…all the work I’d done on all my other novels all came back to help in making Voice the absolutely best, the most honest, emotional, and powerfully uncomfortable work I’ve ever created. And I’m proud of it—and I don’t use words like “pride.” If it wasn’t for Voice, none of the other novels would have been as good as they are…and if it wasn’t for the other novels, Voice wouldn’t be as good as it is. Or so I’ve heard from a couple readers (you just can’t trust me…).

And it is a powerful, emotional journey…but, really, that’s up to each of you to determine. I can’t please everyone, as a couple of my reviews show.

Sex, love, and metaphysics. This intense sometimes explicit story is about what people do in the dark…especially when they’re hiding from themselves.

I love this story, the setting. The whole gestalt. ERO and Voice rank as my favorite efforts. I hope you will also get lost in Voice and find the story. I did wonder if a couple of those who proofed and read it would ever talk to me again…and, well, so far they are. So, I have that going for me…which is nice….

Of those who’ve already read it, one reader told me half jokingly she wasn’t sure she could look me in the eyes “just now” when we first talked after her having read it.

That was so cool!

We laughed!

It meant I’d written something that had her look at me differently. And if she looked at me differently…how differently was she also looking at others? The world?

That meant I had expanded someone’s Weltanschauung.

That I had given another a different perspective.

Which is SO cool!

But I hadn’t done this alone!

There were others. Named and unnamed. I can never thank enough those who took a chance on this story—and me—to read it. Those who listened patiently to my conversational angst about should-I-or-shouldn’t-I? In one case, Mandy Pratt, who did the lion’s share of proofing and editing, having spent April to July picking things apart and pointing out misspelled words (dang it!) and messing with my head with shades of meaning—and, oh, let’s not even begin to talk about my own annoying employment of M-dashes and ellipses!

Yes, she kept me honest. Thanks, Mandy!

To Edie, Amy, Karen, Lon, and Joseph—thank you all for taking time out of your life to help out in the various ways you all did! Amy—you read this twice! Amy, an actual editor, read this back in 2002 or 2003…and when I asked if she was up for reading it again, she actually leapt at the chance (okay, maybe not actually launching herself up and into the air, but consider that “artistic license”…)! Karen, for helping me refine my “pitches” (Karen was there at the beginning, waaay back at a writers conference in the late nineties—thank you for sticking with me through all this, Karen!), back cover text, sounding board, et cetera. Joseph Reininger, no longer in the book retail business, was the first to read Voice and, again, waaay back in the 90s, and his reception of it literally stunned me. Never had I ever received such glowing praise (his is the blurb in the front of the novel) for anything I’d written up to that point! And he sold books! Reads tons of them. Wow. Joseph, yes, it’s finally going to see the light of day—thank you for all of your support!

And perhaps the oddest thanks goes to Joelle Yudin.

She was an Associate Editor at HarperCollins from 2000 – 2006. I’d sent a query to a publisher, and the long-and-the-short-of-it was that it had gotten routed to her. She’d read it, and on January 3, 2003, had sent me the following note:

“<Name withheld> passed along your proposal to me for my thoughts. I found the premise to be quite intriguing and so I shared it with my colleagues. Unfortunately, I will be passing, as I could not get them excited about it. I wish you the best of luck with this.”

I looked back in my writing ledger (yes, I have one; I keep track of things like this), and on January 23, 2003, at about 11:20 a.m. MT, I called her.

Yes, actually called her and I actually got her.

I wanted to know why the oligarchy’d passed on it. I do remember she’d been so kind and easy to talk to and didn’t slough me off in the slightest. What I wrote in my ledger was that Joelle said she thought my writing was good, my “voice” (heh-heh, pardon the pun) interesting, but her colleagues thought the manuscript “small,” in that they were unsure if it would “stand up in the market.” That it was “all about the $$$.” That the “size” of the piece wasn’t “large” enough and they recommended a small publisher. Then, at the end of all my notes I’d added: “Very (underlined) nice lady and open and forthcoming. Even said ‘sorry.'”

So, Joelle, I will always remember you and your kindness…your interest in Voice. Thank you for all of it! If I can ever get in contact with you, I’m sending you a gratis copy or two!

So…here it is.

Voice.

Now what??, Mandy had asked. Now what, indeed!

I gotta find something else to work on….

****

Voice is available at Amazon.com (e-book and trade paperback), CreateSpace, Barnesandnoble.com, and Smashwords.com. There will be additional outlets as the distribution “takes.”

If anyone would like a signed paperback, feel free to send this or any other of my work to the following address—WITH THE PROPER POSTAGE OR IT WILL NOT BE RETURNED. I will use any unreturned books as free giveaways. Send to:

F. P. Dorchak, P. O. Box 49393, Colorado Springs, CO 80949.

Related Articles

Full Voice Cover!

by

Voice Cover (© 2015, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)
Voice Cover (© 2015, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)

Here is the full, front-to-back cover for Voice, which I’m expecting to release August 14th…if everything goes smoothly.

This cover just stabs into my soul.

I absolutely love the design! I give Lon words, and it’s like…when he works his magic…the whole really is greater than the sum of its parts! His choice of color and font and layout all add incredible dimension to the words themselves. They take on more power…a greater enormity. It’s really cool how graphic artistry does that.

The cover is as intense and mysterious as the story itself.

I can’t wait to print out a copy and actually hold it in my hands!

I’m simply antsy with anticipation—and I hope you all are, too!

Related Articles

Canceled Voice Pre-Order

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Need I Say More? (By Granny Enchanted [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons)
Need I Say More? (By Granny Enchanted [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons)
I decided to cancel the Amazon pre-order of Voice, initially expected to be released August 7th. Turns out I only had one pre-order (and it’s a friend of mine and we’d already talked), I still have a lot to do, my proofer is still hard at work, and, well, I’m getting a bit burned out.

So.

I’m gonna take a break from my Voice redlines all of next week. I need to air my head out. Have a lot of things going on and there’s no real reason to [once again] force myself to meet some arbitrary deadline of my own making when there’s no real need. I just thought I’d try it. It’s a cool function.

Voice will get released when it’s ready. Apparently now’s not the time.

Related Articles

Voice–An Erotic Tale of Nonphysical Love

by

Voice. (© 2015, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)
Voice. (© 2015, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)

I must admit, this cover near brought tears to my eyes!

Here—at last!—is the title and cover for my sexy new paranormal/ psychological mainstream (erotica?) novel, due late July/early August! Yes, the genre is mixed, but it will make for quite the steamy summer read!

Voice.

The cover is yet another awesome, amazing, incredible, extraordinary effort by Lon Kirschner, of Kirschner Caroff Design Inc., out of East Chatham, NY! Lon did my ERO cover, and he continues to deliver extraordinary results! I first met Lon through author/teacher/musician all-around-Renaissance Man Marc Schuster, and Marc’s book, The Grievers.

I love everything about this cover!

I love the artwork. The spacing. The blackness. I love the blue of the lady and my name…what Lon did with the title—look closely at it and you’ll see the Adirondack Mountains…see and hear loons on the lake…smell the must of the woods—and the mysterious woman against the black background simply gives me chills.

This cover is absolutely stunning!

It packs a powerful, emotional punch to me on levels I simply can’t explain. Don’t want to. I want it to rip my innards, my soul apart…I want to feel the impending torment, tribulation, and mystery this artwork foreshadows….

I just can’t stop looking at it.

I love all my covers, but I have to say…this…may well be my favorite.

Check out this post on Lon’s work.

Not only am I psyched by revealing the cover artwork, but also finally being able to voice the title of this novel out into the world! It has been a real effort keeping it under wraps! It feels so goood!

Despite the paranormal/supernatural elements, this is the most mainstream effort I’ve ever produced. As I’ve mentioned before, it also features some quite explicit sex scenes and is not for the easily offended. Voice is a density of story…a love story…one of families…and a search for meaning in one’s life. Pain. Redemption. It has supernatural/paranormal elements, but not in a “monstery” way. In a deeply psychological, maybe even uncomfortable way. It may actually make you squirm a little as you sit and read it. It is a story I could not put down…could not put away. Sixteen years in the making, it kept whispering to me…calling out to me. It is my most daring effort. It will be sad to let it go…to stop working on it…stop thinking about it….

It touches me deeply…largely, perhaps, because of the setting…the Adirondack Mountains of upstate New York, where I grew up and continue to visit once a year. I so love that region, with its ancient mountains and dark, mysterious waters (another novel is forthcoming about this region and the dark, foreboding waters…). But I also love the characters…so flawed…so well-meaning…so enigmatic. It’s about what seemingly normal people who are conflicted…in love…do. How they wrestle with their demons. What they might do in the dark corners of their lives away from prying eyes….

What do you do in the wee hours of the night…and is it something you’re proud of?

It is fair to say I’m in love with this story.

Sigh.

The current status of Voice is that I am inputting copyediting redlines from my final reader. I then have to have the manuscript formatted for both e-book and trade softcopy (yes, I am doing both, the e-book first; I also hope to create an advance order selection on Amazon). The formatting could take as little as a week or as much as 2-3. So, this puts it at a late July or early August release. Stay tuned!

And in the next week or so look for a “faux interview” with me by one of the characters of Voice!

As always, feel free to use and e-mail and plaster the cover graphic around the globe—but, please, give proper copyright attribution to Lon and myself. If you’d like the actual files, request a review copy, e-mail me at fpdorchak at fpdorchak dot com, and as soon as they’re available, I’ll send them out!

And, write up a review once you’ve read it! Send me the link!

Thank you all for your support!

Related Articles

My Short-Lived Modeling Career

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Frank Noir, ©1988 (Michael Drejza, Photographer)
Frank Noir, ©1988 (Michael Drejza, Photographer)

All images on this post are copyright by Michael Drejza* and F. P. Dorchak, 1987/1988.

As I began working on my current work-in-progress (WIP), I thought about a part of my life that definitely influenced the manuscript: years ago…in another life…in a galaxy far, far away…I’d attempted…a career change.

Modeling.

Or, I should say…I studied modeling…. I studied under the John Casablancas (JC) Modeling and Career Center, in Denver, Colorado (don’t know if this is the same place I studied at, but it having started in 1983 implies that it is….), and received my “Fashion Modeling” diploma on Nov 13, 1987. I learned about cold readings, applying makeup, being on-camera, doing auditions and commercials, photo shoots, runway fashion modeling…even a little acting. It was a great time.

It was the 80s.

I was interested in two different tracks at that point in my life and thought I’d explore a little: one was the acting world…the other the writing world.

I remember when I signed up: I was 26 years old, weighing in at 185 pounds, at 5 feet 11 1/2 inches (rounded this height down in the resume, for some reason)…and was promptly told I should lose 10 pounds. Right, that wasn’t gonna happen—and never did. I later learned all about how film “adds” 10 pounds to people (so when you see these “twiggy” models, try to understand just how really thin they really are), but I was already as lean as I was gonna get. Anymore was high school weight and that just wasn’t gonna be any kind of healthy. I worked out (still do) and there was no way I was gonna shed an additional 10 pounds. Heck, I was looking to add muscle, not lose it….

F. P. Dorchak Acting/Modeling Resume (John Casablancas , D
F. P. Dorchak Acting/Modeling Resume ©1987 (John Casablancas , Denver)

As I’d mentioned, JC training involved everything from applying makeup to performing ramp fashion shows. It also taught acting basics, and I remember having had a great time the second time through (yes, attempted this course twice), whereas the first time through, I wasn’t “as psychologically ‘loose,'” you could say. The first time I’d gone through was a year earlier (1986), but my work schedule had been too rough, so I had to back out. The next year, however, I stayed with it.

Back to the acting class. In it the instructor would eventually have us students stand up and he’d throw character types/situations at us and we were supposed to “act” them. After the initial attempts, it was rapid fire. As I mentioned, the first time through (1986) I was extremely self-conscious and psychologically “stiff.”  However, the second time through it was so funny, because as we did this the instructor had people again stand, and kept those of us standing who were able to “perform.” I was one of those—and it actually kinda surprised me. But he would again rapid-fire throw out characters and situation to portray, and he quickly got faster and faster with his requests, weeding us out until only two of us were left standing.

Myself and another guy.

He literally only allowed seconds to perform his requests before he hit us with another. It went something like this: “You’re a farmer…construction worker…astronaut…grieving mother…gay politician…circus clown….” This went on for some time and it was like channeling the Divine (for me, anyway), because I didn’t even have to think about how to act or what to say…it all just flowed (channeled?!) through me. In fact it seemed the same for the other guy (the instructor even had the two of us playing off each other). Once it was all done I was amazed at how easy that had been…and I seem to remember applause erupting from our fellow classmates….

Frank Noir Contact Sheet ©1988 (Michael Drejza, Photographer)
Frank Noir Contact Sheet ©1988 (Michael Drejza, Photographer)

Another event that had an impact on me was our graduation project, a ramp or runway show.

In order to graduate, we had to split up into groups of four—two guys and two girls—so we could “play off” each other…we had to not only create the ramp show, but perform it…and in front of a live audience. We had a limited amount of time to do it (and had to do it there—no take-home work!). But, once we were ready, our audience was ushered in.

Who was our audience?

F. P. Dorchak Fashion Modeling Course Diploma (John
F. P. Dorchak Fashion Modeling Course Diploma ©1987 (John Casablancas , Denver)

A very large, very kinetic, excited, and fun children’s group!

They were all giggly and smiles, their faces bright with anticipation,  and they were ushered into a very small area not much larger than a good-sized living room that was part of the building’s own wing. This wing had large windows around it. There were so many children that the instructors had the overflow go outside and watch us from there, hands and faces pressed into the plate-glass windows. It was actually quite cool, with a lot of “fun” energy emanating from the kids (I remember their ages on the order of maybe 5 or 7 years old up to pre-teen?). Once we started it was nonstop children whooping it up, shouting, and applauding!

It really was a blast, and I was surprised at how much fun I had not only with my group, but also in “playing it up” for the kids! Winking at them, making direct “model” eye contact, displaying full-on “ramp attitude,” that kind of thing. So much excitement and joyfulness from the kids!

Leather Jacket Frank Contact Sheet ©1988 (Michael Drejza, Photographer)
Leather Jacket Frank Contact Sheet ©1988 (Michael Drejza, Photographer)

After graduating from JC, I went on some “Go-Sees,” or “calls” for commercials or anything else that requires a body. I remember one of my go-sees was for a beer commercial…whiiich I didn’t get. Another was for a Moneycard commercial. Nope, didn’t get that, either. While it had been fun doing these things that were so outside my military world…I had also started writing every day. I’d always written (off and on) since I was six years old, but also in 1987, I had begun treating writing as a business…doing it every day, logging my expenses, my submissions, all of it. So, as this energetic 26 year old I was: working full-time shift work, working out nearly every day (weight training, running, hiking, two styles of martial arts, swimming, biking, handball, skiing, tennis…), studying modeling/acting, going on go-sees, and writing. And, if I remember correctly, was getting about 4-6 hours of sleep.

Something had to give.

I ended up having to cut back tremendously on my workouts, but also realized this modeling gig was getting a wee bit expensive in terms of both time and money, what with having to have “a wardrobe,” keep a current and running portfolio (i.e., go to professional photographers and get shots—like the ones on this post—done), and to keep having to drive places (usually outside of town), yada-yada-yada. Writing…writing was cheap [in terms of materials]…but I also found that I had more of an affinity for the written word.

Leather and Sweater Frank Contact Sheet ©1988 (Michael Drejza, Photographer)
Leather and Sweater Frank Contact Sheet, ©1988 (Michael Drejza, Photographer)

So, I withdrew from the whole modeling/acting world. I’d learned a lot about myself—and the industry—and it was definitely a fun experience…then, some years later (1997), I searched for a new writing project. I’d wanted to write about something that would stretch my writing abilities…would push my growth as a writer…and the idea I came up with merged with my modeling training. It was way outside the typical plots and “world views” I inhabit in my books, and, though a bit nervous about it…because of all the (at times, graphic) sex…I took it on. It’s a powerful story, at least to me, and I rank it as probably my best effort—even above ERO, which, so far, has been my personal favorite. This new WIP will startle—even piss you off, perhaps—and it will be something readers will either love or hate. Depends on your…sensibilities…but it won’t just “sit there.” That’s my humble prediction. I’m still planning to release this novel this year (2015, for future readers…), but it’s not going quite as quickly as planned…though it is moving along….

Over the years, I’ve often wondered about my classmates from that 1987 graduating class, so I contacted the Denver John Casablancas agency. I’ve left two voice mails and one e-mail, but have not heard back from them. If I do, I will update this post. I’m hoping I can find out how some of our more successful from my class have fared!

Incidentally, in my top photo I was wearing a really cool purple tux—yeah, purple—and the bow tie was a really neat mixture of purple and silver. It was quite striking! I’ve included some other material from my portfolio, like contact sheets. Below are some of my portfolio shots. A couple of them are from slides, so their resolution is not the greatest. Untouched photos.

This was definitely a fun time, but I’m glad I never fully got into it. The writing life is more suited to me, my personality. I’ve since dipped my toe into the acting world once more, and let’s just say…I’m glad I never “went there.”

Writing is where this “me” is meant to be…where I want to be…and I’m glad I made the choice I did….

All images on this post are copyright by Michael Drejza* and F. P. Dorchak, 1987/1988.

*I believe Michael Drejza was the photographer; he’s the only name I have on a receipt for some of the work.

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