• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

F. P. Dorchak

Speculative Fiction (New Weird) Author

  • Home
  • Books
    • What Readers Are Saying
  • Short Stories
  • About
  • Blog
    • Runnin Off at the Mouth
    • Reality Check
  • Events
  • Contact

Vacation

A Trip Through Time

July 24, 2015 by fpdorchak

Slaughterhouse Five, by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cover ©1977
Slaughterhouse Five, by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cover ©1977

Schlachthof-fünf

Ho Hum

Siggie

Great Lakes

Ann-Tique Anny

Waterfalls

Cemeteries

Chateaugay

Corner Stone

Wild Walk

McCadam

So it goes

In no particular order, the above are elements of my upstate NY trip from last week. I left Colorado early in the morning on July 11th and arrived in Vermont early in the afternoon of the same day (that seems to have to be stated these days). Seeing the familiar greenery and terrain of the Northeast was like salve to my soul. My folks (dad and stepmom) picked me up and we headed to New York.  I spent a week there. I left New York and Vermont July 18th. And again, the day after that. Air travel was severely backed up on the 18th, which delayed lots of flights. My flight. I stayed at a crappy hotel run by nice people (the Ho-Hum Motel) with no air-conditioning. In the upper 80s, muggy. I stayed on the second floor in the building behind the pool. I stayed with one table fan, two dead and (half-inch-sized) unidentifiable bugs shaped like those kernels of candy corn, a disgustingly dirty mattress and pillow with unidentifiable stains and black hairs under the bed sheet, and one live (and Daddy-Longlegs large) spider that went off somewhere I know not where and is surely still having the run of the place. My flight out the next day was again delayed. Due to “a mechanical” (nose gear failure). We left about 45 minutes late. I got to O’Hare. The short story of my flight out of O’Hare went something like this: three gate changes, three plane changes, 2+ hours of a “quest for a plane.” Through all of this, I’d been re-reading Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse Five. I began reading it in an airport in Colorado, and I finished reading it in the air over New York State, just minutes before crossing Lake Ontario. I was reading the 1977 paperback I’d read in high school. My Fight Attendant out of Vermont was a blonde German-sounding woman, named “Siggie.” But she could have been Norwegian.

So it goes.

I will write a handful of posts about my trip, whereupon I visited a couple of cemeteries, a waterfall, and took in a “wild walk” through the Adirondack woods. I also visited a bookstore (Corner Stone) and explored a small community (Chateaugay), which included a cheese factory (McCadam) and antique store (Ann-Tique Anny).

I’d decided to re-read Slaughterhouse Five because I loved that book and its cool time traveling shit and I wanted to see how Mr. Vonnegut handled writing about his funky time-traveling shit. See if I could employ any of his techniques. I think I can, said the train.

I’ve tried to read some late-model novels (car people say “late model,” so I thought I’d try it with books) over the past couple years, and across the whole I have to say I’ve been roundly disappointed. Sometimes it was the writing, sometimes the story. Many times both. I’d even tried to read some other science fiction novels I’d absolutely loved when I was a kid…and had again found myself severely disappointed. And these were great names, on the order of (because I don’t point fingers, I am giving the kinds of names these authors I’d read were, and am NOT saying these were authors whose work was terrible) Pohl or Zelazny. When I’d reread some of the above, I was positively stunned at how poorly written I’d found them to be as an adult and as a writer. Perhaps what I’d read was early in their careers. I hope so. But, wow, Slaughterhouse Five, which I’d read in high school, however, did not disappoint. In Slaughterhouse Five I’d found an incredibly well-written novel that eschewed traditional structure and incorporated “author intrusion” to its benefit. And Vonnegut’d employed “small words.” Amazingly so. Slaughterhouse Five impressed the shit out of me. Made me interested in reading fiction again. That’s why the classics are so-labeled, I guess. Maybe that’s what I should start [re]reading. The classics.

And so it goes.

I’d written the longhand draft of this post over Lake Ontario, Canada, Michigan, and Indiana, I imagine. If you get right down to it, over the clouds over these places, really. And I’m finishing it over the carpet in my writing office. As I’m currently inputting these inked words into the electronic, I feel curiously displaced, much like Billy Pilgrim. I feel myself still in the air…yet in my office. Tripping through time. I like flying. I like writing. I like tripping through time, Tralfamadorians be damned. I came out East (as I usually do) to visit my folks, my dad and stepmom, and another set of characters, the Adirondacks. I haven’t been to many places outside this country, but I have traveled up and down, left to right across this country, and the Adirondacks is where my heart is…perhaps to my Colorado wife’s dismay—though she does enjoy visiting with me. I went alone on this trip. Wife’s schedules. So it goes.

I was also a tad stressed when I left July 11th. From writing. Working on Voice and trying to meet my self-imposed deadline that was already shot because of other schedules…as well as some other, non-writing-related issues (as I wrote this section on the plane, we passed an interesting cumulus cloud that resembled a lamb lying upright…its head the shape of that alien monster from Alien; this singular cloud rode atop all the lower, horizontally lying clouds), like just trying to get a fare on a certain airline that “awards” frequent flyer mileage for loyalty…then gives out only the suckiest of pairings.

But…I got there…am here…was heading home.

There’s more to come.

I felt the plane descending into O’Hare.

So it goes.

Filed Under: Books, Leisure, Metaphysical, Nature, To Be Human, Writing Tagged With: Adirondacks, Airlines, Ann-Tique Anny, Chateaugay, Corner Stone Bookshop, Flight, Ho-Hum Motel, McAdam, Slaughterhouse Five, So it goes, upstate New York, Vacation, Vermont, Waterfalls

The Grotesquery

April 3, 2015 by fpdorchak

The Thing, Middle of Nowhere, Arizona. March 26, 2015.
The Thing, Middle of Nowhere, Arizona. March 26, 2015.

As we started our return road trip back to Colorado (curiously enough) two events occurred that could have drastically altered what would follow (to play off “the dramatic” and my earlier dead bird post…), and are definitely “cousins” to the title of this post.

As we headed out of Green Valley, AZ, two of us wanted coffee. So, just before hitting the Interstate, we pulled into a McDonald’s drive-thru. As we’re waiting in line after ordering, a loud hissing and an emission of a “steam-like substance” erupts from our vehicle! We turn off the vehicle, turn it back on…and all is quiet. As we get our drinks, we ask about mechanics and are told one is literally behind us, on the other side of the road. A Mr. Automotive. Long story short, we find out a relay had gone bad, causing our A/C’s internals to “vent” as it did. Freon. Well, whatareyagonnado? as my paternal grandfather used to say. So, we hung out and got it fixed. But, toward the end, we’re thinking about who wants lunch (I do) and when (now), so I volunteer to walk across to the same McDonald’s and get us some grub (curiously, as we headed across the intersection, to the mechanic’s, I had a mental image of me walking across this intersection, heading back over to the shopping center…).

I leave the shop.

As I’m walking towards the intersection—which is quite busy—another clear image fills my mind…one of me being hit by a car in the middle of this intersection. Cockily, I mentally chide myself: “Yeah, that’s not gonna happen….”

The light goes green. I proceed across.

Intensely checking out all the traffic because of my “vision,” I make my way into the middle of the intersection—when this car comes screaming out of the shopping center I’m heading toward…on a direct collision course with—yeah, you guessed it—me.

I stop and turn toward the car—throwing both arms into the air in a “What the HELL?!” gesture, as I wait for the car to stop.

It does.

In the car I see a blonde woman in her fifties or so at the wheel. Eyes wide. I think she had brown eyes. Clearly, she has just awoken from her nap, or cell phone, or whatever thing she (and the rest of the world) is in such a damned hurry to get to/from without watching where she’s going…while flooring the accelerator. A common affliction I am seeing more and more of from all drivers. Her driver-side window is open.

She apologizes profusely.

I drop my arms. I smile. I continue on.

For the love of cheeseburgers.

Sooo:

1) Coffee saved our bacon from this electronic relay failure happening out in the middle of the desert (thanks, wife!), and

2) A vision I rejected from my reality kept me from remaining down in Green Valley. Or at least, parts of me….

Onward!

We leave the mechanic after about two hours (and a fun pinball machine—thanks, Mr. Automotive, for getting us in pronto and back out on the road!) and head northeast.

One of the cool things about road trips are all the neat, hidden tourist traps that exist out there. It’s kinda like that movie, Vacation (one of my favorite movies):

“Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes… or perhaps you don’t want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away.”

Or the House of Mud.

Or Dodge City, where you can go deaf from fake shotgun blasts across fake bars?

So, how about…The Thing?

What is…”The Thing” you ask?

No it’s not some frozen extraterrestrial creature waiting to be thawed out and eat us all (or is it?).

But it is a roadside attraction 17 miles east of Benson, Arizona and 40 miles east of Tucson, Arizona. Basically, out in the middle of nowhere (noted by the “miles east of” directions…). It’s a gas station. And gift shop. Oh, and a Museum. Where The Thing resides. And a way to get out of your vehicle and stretch your legs.

So, we stopped.

The Thing.

Now, my wife and Mom-in-law had already seen this…thing…they were just bringing me in on the fun. So, we paid our dollar-per-customer fare and entered…the lair…which took you back outside to walk between a series of warehousey building by following yellow-painted “foot” steps on concrete sidewalks. We went to three metal buildings, following these footprints, which (appropriately enough) ended back in the gift shop. In these three warehousey structures were all things that were “the thing” at some point in history…as well a crapload of driftwood art. Grotesque, creepy driftwood/root system art. Surreal. The stuff of nightmares, one could say. There were also a couple of torture exhibits I just didn’t get into…not that any of it was graphic…but just the intent…the notion of it was upsetting to me, especially since we were on a “quest for fun,” or, rather, were returning from said. Torture exhibits did not fit into that weltanschauung.

Anyway, there were some interesting things to look at besides the nightmarish tree root art, like antique cars, books, and a 1654 matchlock.

But, mainly, it was about the nightmarish tree root art and this “Thing.”

Note: the “green” of some of the images (below) was from the light illuminating through green fiberglass roofing.

Afterwards, as we munched DQ cones (did I write that out loud?), I asked the only guy at the front desk in the gift shop (there had been two others but they were now gone) about “The Thing.”

“Was it real?”

I just wanted to get “the answer.” The dude said he’d heard the owners tell conflicting stories (no doubt to fuel the whole “Thing” mystique…). One version was that “it” was found in the Grand Canyon. The other version was that it was…

Made by a company in California that makes things like this for places like this.

Okay, then.

Well, whatever it is, it got us out of our vehicle and got us to stretch our legs around this strange Compound of Weirdness out in the Middle of Nowhere, Arizona….

And it was only a dollar.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

 

Related articles

  • Road Trip: Scottsdale, Arizona (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • The Dead Bird (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)

Filed Under: Fun, Leisure, To Be Human Tagged With: Arizona, AZ, Bowlins, Driftwood Art, Gift Shops, Nightmarish, Radial Root Cyclone, Road Trip, The Thing, Tourist Traps, Vacation

The Cottage

September 8, 2014 by fpdorchak

The Cottage, Lake Placid, New York (Aug, 15, 2014)
The Cottage, Lake Placid, New York (Aug, 15, 2014)

I’m not a foodie in any sense of the term—I jokingly consider myself a “functional eater”—but I do appreciate good food, ambiance (and, of course, the company!), and a killer view, all of which this little place has!

It’s called, The Cottage Restaurant, and it sits directly on Lake Placid’s Mirror Lake, at 77 Mirror Lake Drive, Lake Placid, New York 12946.

You can sit inside or outside, and we always opt for outside. You can see why. The view is fantastic, and this time out, we spotted all kinds of activity on the lake (despite the weather), from actual swimmers (we’re talking long-distance, here; this is the Adirondacks and the home to the 1932 and 1980 Olympics!) to paddle boarders.

When you’re done, take a drive around the lake and through the town and the surrounding area, maybe even check the ski jump (we’ve been up inside the ski jump 2 or 3 times), Olympic Center Museum, Whiteface Mountain (I skied it once), or High Falls Gorge (we haven’t yet seen this, it was raining when we stopped by, after having visited Ausable Chasm earlier in the day), down the road a little ways…

Or not.

And just hang out for spell, enjoying the view….

Related articles

  • Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 1 of 4 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • One Painting…Two Dogs (fpdorchakrealitycheck.wordpress.com)
  • Ausable Chasm – Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 2 of 4 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Boldt Castle – Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 3 of 4 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Sunnyside (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • St. John in the Wilderness Cemetery – Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 4 of 4 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Donnelly’s Corners (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)

 

Filed Under: Fun, Health, Leisure, To Be Human Tagged With: Adirondacks, Foodie, Lake Placid, Mirror Lake, Olympics, Restaurants, The Cottage, upstate New York, Vacation

Donnelly’s Corners

September 5, 2014 by fpdorchak

Donnelly's Corners, Saranac Lake, NY  (Aug 12, 2014)
Donnelly’s Corners, Saranac Lake, NY (Aug 12, 2014)

If you go anywhere upstate New Yorkish during the summer, and by “upstate” I mean within an hour’s driving distance of the “Tri-Lakes” area (Saranac Lake, Lake Placid, Tupper Lake), you absolutely need to stop and partake of the heavenly delights at this little soft serve ice cream stand that has been in business for 61 years.

Donnelly’s Corners.

“Okay there are ice cream stands and then there is Donnelly’s…It was my first time there, after a 3 hour ride from Albany to have lunch in Lake Placid , you might as well go 45 mins more for this ice cream, it’s smooth, rich and creamy and nothing like you’ve tasted before.”

Kevin J., of Troy, N.Y., Yelp review, 7/9/14

Donnelly’s Corners is at the intersection of the Harrietstown Road and Route 186 (aka, Routes 86 and 186). The actual address is 1556 State Route 86, Saranac Lake, New York 12983.

I’m told they no longer make their own cream, but wherever they get it from, it continues to taste like I remember it. Outstanding. They also deliver “their” cream to at least one other ice cream soft serve stand, up in Brainardsville, called Harrigans, at the intersection of Brainardsville Road and Lake Street (aka, Routes 374 and 24/190). The actual address is RR 374, Brainardsville, NY 12915.

Donnelly’s is open 11 a.m. to 9 or 9:30 p.m., but only during the summer, so, sorry, you just missed ’em, having closed after Labor Day weekend (Harrigans also closes after Labor Day weekend; sorry, I tried to get these posts out quicker, but just didn’t happen…).

As to its history, here it is, from the yelp page:

“Established in 1953.

“Crystal Spring Dairy was purchased by Martin and Nora Donnelly in November 1920.  The dairy farm grew and expanded over the years. In 1953, their daughters, Rita and Mary, went to a trade show and saw the unique machine that made the Ice Cream that we still make today. Their son, Francis, turned the warming hut that had been used on the ski hill just down the road into the stand we have today.

“We opened in August of 1953 and haven’t missed a season since. In the early years the stand operated 6 days and were  closed on Mondays. It opened July 4th and closed before Labor Day. Family members worked the stand, and in the 1960’s, family friends were hired to help out.

“Peter (Francis’ oldest son) re-joined the dairy in 1968 and is still operating the stand today. In 1969 we started opening 7 days a week, and a year later pushed our opening date up to Memorial Day, and stayed open thru Labor Day. Over the years, the flavor offerings were expanded and hours have been extended.”

I went to school with one of the cousins (I believe the relation was) to that family. When we used to ride our bikes to high school (uphill both ways—if you don’t believe me, drive that route), we sometimes stopped at that house up on the rise to the stand’s left.

Donnelly’s does a twisted-with-vanilla, dual-flavored cone, the schedule of which is listed on their Facebook page. Vanilla is the constant flavor.

My favorite flavor?

Black raspberry. And, for once, the day we first went (we made two trips…), it was a Tuesday, so that was what we got!

Yes, we’d come here many times, when I was a kid, and even now, when I visit this stand, it’s never empty for very long.

But, there is one unknown lady I simply must call out: the second time we were there, this one lady and her family were walking back to their van (on the end of the parking lot), when she did a most heinous thing: without batting an eye, she took one more lick of her cone—then summarily dumped it all in the trash!

And…and…she never looked back!

I was…aghast.

Where were New York’s Finest when you really needed them, for cryin’ out loud?

The world wept that day.

Okay, don’t be like Unknown Donnelly’s Dumper…when you get your cone (sizes “small” and “large,” and by that I mean “large” and “HUGE“), relish it.

Enjoy it.

Revel in its flavor and texture.

But, not for too long, okay, ’cause, you know, it is soft ice cream, and it is summer.

Mark this as “Must See” for 2015…and the rest of your life.

Related articles

  • Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 1 of 4 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • One Painting…Two Dogs (fpdorchakrealitycheck.wordpress.com)
  • Ausable Chasm – Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 2 of 4 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Boldt Castle – Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 3 of 4 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Sunnyside (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • St. John in the Wilderness Cemetery – Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 4 of 4 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • The Adirondack Carousel (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)

Filed Under: Fun, Leisure, To Be Human Tagged With: Crystal Spring Dairy, Donnelly's Corners, Harrietstown, Harrigan's, Ice Cream, Saranac Lake, Soft Serve, Tri-Lakes, upstate New York, Vacation

The Adirondack Carousel

September 4, 2014 by fpdorchak

Adirondack Carousel, William Morris Park, Saranac Lake, NY (Aug 15, 2014)
Adirondack Carousel, William Morris Park, Saranac Lake, NY (Aug 15, 2014)

I spent some time in the William Morris Memorial Park, (note: there are two separate links there), in Saranac Lake, as a kid, with my siblings. My mom would take us all into town as she ran her errands, and—now that I think of it—we seemed to have been left here on our own recognizance. Or maybe she was just elsewhere in the park, talking to her friends, or whatever, but in any case, I spent “some time” in “the park” (okay, after finding this link, it does look like it was a “day care” park).

One of the key memories I have of that park, was swinging on the swing set with a friend who was looking to become a priest. I often wonder where and how W. B. is doing.

Anyway, one day while at Donnelly’s Corners a couple weeks ago, we saw a sign “talking” about an “Adirondack Carousel” in Saranac (the locals sometimes refer to “Saranac Lake” simply as “Saranac,” though there is a “Saranac, New York“), at the William Morris Park, so I thought we should check it out. Carousel information is here and here.

The carousel is composed of handcarved rides and was pretty cool looking. My favorite was the loon. There was also some nice “carnival” artwork on the above skirt as well. But, have to say, the interior of the building really needs an air-conditioner!

Related articles

  • Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 1 of 4 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • One Painting…Two Dogs (fpdorchakrealitycheck.wordpress.com)
  • Ausable Chasm – Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 2 of 4 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Boldt Castle – Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 3 of 4 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Sunnyside (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • St. John in the Wilderness Cemetery – Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 4 of 4 (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)

Filed Under: Fun, Leisure, To Be Human Tagged With: Adirondack Carousel, Saranac Lake, Vacation, Willam Morris Memorial Park

Sunnyside

September 2, 2014 by fpdorchak

"Sunnyside" (Aug 15, 2014)
“Sunnyside” (Aug 15, 2014)

Every time I go back east, this house gets my interest. It’s a long abandoned hotel that used to be called, “Sunnyside.”

As you can see, it looks anything but.

And I’ve been in this place.

My dad, who was a Forest Ranger, occasionally took me with him to work. On at least one occasion I remember stopping here, when it was still operating. Don’t remember much about it, just that we were in a bar/restaurant area, darkly lit.

Now, it looks like this…and is for sale.

It calls to me.

One day, I’m gonna write a story about this place.

Related articles

  • Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 1 of…. (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • One Painting…Two Dogs (fpdorchakrealitycheck.wordpress.com)
  • Ausable Chasm – Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 2 of…. (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)
  • Boldt Castle – Upstate New York Vacation 2014 – Part 3 of…. (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)

Filed Under: Fun, Leisure, Spooky, To Be Human Tagged With: Hotel, Spooky House, Sunnyside, upstate New York, Vacation

  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Page 2
  • Page 3
  • Go to Next Page »

Footer

Upcoming Events

Events

Heading To

COSine 2026 – January 23 -25, 2026

Mountain of Authors – Unable to attend in 2026

MileHiCon58 – October 23 – 25, 2026

 

Follow Me

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2026 · Author Pro on Genesis Framework · Powered by WordPress.com. · Log in