F. P. Dorchak

Speculative Fiction (New Weird) Author

Pam Headrick

Voice – Free Review Copies!

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Voice. (© 2015, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)
Voice. (© 2015, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)

I have 19 slightly damaged copies of Voice that I want to give away!

Their damages?

The inside graphic image of the front cover is grainy. That’s it. Nothing else is damaged in the book—well, if you don’t count my intense, troubled characters. So, this being the case, I want to give them out for free for reviews. I’ll also pay for shipping.

I’ll even autograph them for ya.

So, where’s the risk?

You can contact me at the following, but these are hardcopy trades, so I will need a name and address:

  • fpdorchak (at) fpdorchak (dot) com
  • F. P. Dorchak, P. O. Box 49393, Colorado Springs, CO 80949

So, there’s no risk! You not paying for the book, you’re not paying for the shipping, and if you don’t like it, you don’t have to keep reading! But I’m hoping you will like some aspect of this intense, emotionally thrilling story and will write up a review on your favorite site as well as on Amazon.com. If you’re not interested, please pass this around to another who might be interested, and as long as I have copies, I’ll send them out.

I also plan on doing the same with some advanced review copies for my short story collection, Do The Dead Dream?, coming out this Hallowe’en, so stay tuned!

I thank you all in advance for your time!

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Clowns

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What Makes a Good Clown Go Bad? © F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner, 2016.
What Makes a Good Clown Go Bad? © F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner, 2016.

What makes a good clown go bad?

I had originally intended to release my short story, “Clowns,” for free on my site, here, but got the idea to release it through Amazon’s Kindle Select. I’d read a short story by Bonnie Ramthun, called “The Little Hitchhiker” (a fun read, by the way), and thought, okay, I gotta try this! And I was working on this story at the time and just felt oddly compelled to use it.

Oddly.

So, I rounded up my “usual suspects”: my proofer, Mandy, my formatter, Pam, and my Cover Guy, Lon.

So, now, you’re gonna pay.

Dearly.

Well, 99 cents, anyway.

Click here for “Clowns” KDP Select Link.

This story got such a chuckle from me when I reread it 28 years later—I’d actually forgotten all about it…though not in concept. I mean, I’d thought I’d written a “killer clown” story, but just had never followed up on it to see what I’d actually written. Isn’t it funny how the mind works? Some people can remember everything, while others, well, do not. And I’d written this (and most of the others I’m posting here) a lifetime ago! You’d think since I’d written this stuff…but, as I go back over all my short stories, it appears that I’d just been banging these things out (for good or ill) and flying onto the next idea…apparently forgetting to submit some of them in the freaking “fog of writing”!

And the purple clown that had inspired this story? Gone. I’d had it for the longest time, but must have given it away—

Or it’d walked away.

Some people have an actual fear of clowns (called “coulrophobia“), and after having written this piece, I can see why. “Clowns” is one of my earliest stories, written in 1987, and I had literally not touched it since then. So, for this digital version, I did go over it with fine-toothed blade—I mean comb—and a second set of eyes. And I love it! It is “the decidedly creepy clown story.” When she was done with editing it, Mandy had this to say about it:

“Damn, nasty-ass clowns.“

Yeah, I don’t really get a “fear” of clowns from her….

But, to continue with the weirdness surrounding this story, after Lon had finished the cover (which he said “creeped him out” as he worked on it…) he had this creepy little real-life story to tell me:

“When I was a kid (7 or 8) my father used to take me to the amusement park arcade where they had a dancing Peppy the Clown. You would put in a quarter (or most likely a dime) and music would play. You would then press the buttons and freaking Peppy the Clown would sing and dance. This scared me to death and my father though that this was a real riot.

“Fast forward 20 years. My father is dead. I am antiquing in upstate NY with my girlfriend. We are walking around the store when all of a sudden the hair on the back of my neck stands up and I started to sweat. I turned around and right behind me was a Peppy the Clown for sale.

“I felt him before I saw him.

“I hate him.”

Isn’t that just great?

Clowns….

In the back matter of the KDP Select of “Clowns” there’s a picture of me from my modeling portfolio, back in 1988. I wasn’t going to include a picture in “Clowns’s” release, but my formatter, Pam, included it on her own, and it kinda compliments the story. There’s an irony because though the picture is black and white…I’m actually wearing a purple tux and a purple bow tie.

And because the clown in the story is purple.

Anyway, this is just such a fun story! You’ll think me mad for saying that, perhaps, but wait until you read it….just before going to bed…while you’re in bed…the only light the glow from your e-reader….

I dare you.

You’ll see.

You will.

And so will your clown…sitting over there…on its shelf…

Watching you. With beady little porcelain or fabric eyes.

Plotting.

What makes a good clown go bad?

Don’t know.

They just do.

 

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Lon Kirschner Articles:

Lon Kirschner may be contacted at:

Phone: 518/392-3823

E-mail: info@kirschnercaroff.com

Site: http://www.kirschnercaroff.com

Book Cover Site: http://www.lonkirschner.com/

Why Did I Go Indie?

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Yes, I'm Finally Showing Some Spine!
Yes, I’m Finally Showing Some Spine!

Why go indie?

This question was asked in one of the writer’s loops I belong to, and I thought it might make a good post, since I don’t know that I really spelled it out in any previous blogs, nor really put it all together in one place. Apologies for all this “Indie This/Indie That,” and I do promise to post some other topics, soon, but here, I present my response to a writer’s loop question, in its near entirety, plus-or-minus some:

Why did I go indie?

Well, I got tired of banging my head on the brick wall of the traditional route. Tired of all the “have-tos” thrown around like so much confetti at a New Year’s Eve party. Tired of the attitudes of many of the Gatekeeper’s out there (not all, but I’ve been at the receiving end of smirks, disaffection, arrogance—an industry professional picking up my one-book-at-the-time, casually flipping it over in their hands with obvious prejudicial attitude [most of you surely know what I’m talking about—the cover clearly not a “New York job” kinda thing] before placing it back down on the pile without even opening it, and I was this person’s driver from the airport, so they “knew” me, but this person didn’t even have enough energy to crack open the book—as I’m standing directly beside him/her); sure, you get that anywhere, but at least by this route, I don’t have to deal what that particular aspect of things…

I got tired of the wasted time.

It’s not that I harbor anything “against” these people, in and of themselves, it’s just that it’s a different world out there these days, with everyone grabbing for work, trying to stay afloat, trying to remain germane and “important” in their own industry (at least that’s what I hear talked about, but I don’t really think this is a problem)…and you throw into this mix the apparent proliferation of what I perceive as growing attitudes where writers seem to be there for the Gatekeeper’s, where authors are no longer grown, but plucked with expectations of immediate ripeness.

I just don’t want to be part of that, if there’s another route.

And, now…there is. I mean there really is! And it’s finally gaining acceptance. At the publishing house level, if you believe all the ground-level noise, there no longer seems any real respect for the writer…for the awe of their ideas, their words. It’s all about money and profit and immediate financial-gratification. Sure, I’d love to have a traditional publisher for many reasons (and not, for other reasons)…but everything’s so frigging “weird” now. Agents have to be pickier because publishers are being weird-pickier because of the “sure-fire” hits requirements. Can’t really go that far out on a limb, anymore. Heaven forbid you have a “thinky” story that makes someone consider their world, their soul, rather than rehashing yet another formulaic plot with different plot apparel. Sure, nothing so much against those kinds of books (I really don’t have any)…but at the exclusion of other material, yes, I do take exception. My ex-agent thought highly of my efforts, but because NY didn’t, we had to part ways after 4 1/2 years. My ex-agent who is a huge reader, has been in the business a long time, has all the contacts, thought sure [as well as any agent can think “sure” in this biz, in that, nothing’s truly a “sure” thing, however, this has a damn good chance at being picked up kinda sure…] certain “elements” would take on my work…then didn’t. Sure, you could say all kinds of things, one way or the other, including my work just plain sucks…but I still see “sucky” stuff getting traditionally published. I don’t really like to honk my own horn, but my wife told me the other day that one of her Facebook friends who’d read ERO thought it should be on the bestseller list. Wow, do you know how that feels to hear something like that when you’ve been laboring in the damp dark for so damned long? Getting dissed by agents and publishers and even some of your peers who have been published and made to feel as if you’re not fricking worthy? Questioning your own worth? Damn right I’m gonna honk that horn! Thank you, whoever that was! But, that’s a reader. A buyer of books. A human at the distant end of the publishing food chain. I often say that if one person feels one way, you know others do (or will), too.

So, go ahead, define “sucky.”

Additionally, I’m older than when I started. I no longer have the time I did when I started out.

I also have stories where timelines have gone against me, in that I can only extend JFK’s age so far into his 90s in the present-day alternate history, or the effects of 9/11 in the story (had to severely change that plot line in The Uninvited).

I’ve read that many readers don’t care who publishes a book, just that it’s “good,” however that’s defined. The “new indie” has far more flexibility than the “old indie” of plunking down $3K for a POD book, or the “old, old indie” of plunking down far more, then getting a garage-load of hardcovers you could foundation a house with (yes, you can end a sentence thusly). I love the flexibility, and, yes, as others mentioned, the control. It’s just another way of doing business, and I have several books still to release, and, now, several out there.

I love having the control for the cover, ooh, boy do I! And when you find cover artists like Karen Duvall and Lon Kirschner, formatters like Pam Headrick, out there willing and qualified to work with you, man, you just wanna write more just so you can work with these kinds of people again and again! It’s actually a fun process, it really is, but very time-consuming, especially for creating the physical books [v. ebooks]. Oh, but when you finally get them into your sweaty little hands….

And…I now have books (plural!) out there…an actual growing body of work…to answer the question I’ve frequently received over the years:  “When’s your next book coming out?” I will soon also have an answer to “When is your next ‘Sleepwalkers‘ book coming out? (hopefully by year’s end).”

And…I no longer feel rushed. Now I write…and when it’s ready, I publish. I still have much promo and marketing to do, but my plan was and is to get these already finished books out there, then promote the hell out of them. Working a full-time day job, there are only so many hours in the day—and that’s another thing about choosing to go indie, but there’s no rush to “make it big,” or profitable in the first two weeks or you’re sunk! It’s up to you how much time effort and profit you wanna make, unless, of course, something catches a tasty wave, and off it goes on its own. Hang ten! The strangest event can launch already published indie books into the national forefront. They’re also out there forever; no one’ll pull them from retailing because they’re not making billions.

There will always detractors out there. Sure, my arguments can be ripped a new one, and so can other arguments against mine. It’s not about finding fault with things…it’s about finding another way and finding the positive in one’s life.

To be a writer is to write. To be a writer is to be read.

This is all just my opinion. I am who I am and have done what I’ve done.

I’m quite happy with my decision!

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ERO—Trade Paperback Now Available!

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ERO (2013, F. P. Dorchak, Don McCall, Lon Kirschner)
ERO (2013, F. P. Dorchak, Don McCall, Lon Kirschner)

Well, the trade paperback edition of ERO has arrived!

The 6 x 9 trade paperback edition of ERO is now available at CreateSpace, courtesy of Wailing Loon. I’m asking $14.99 for it. It hasn’t yet migrated to Amazon.com and other distributors, as of this writing, but do keep checking!

And (I must say…) the complete, full jacket is every bit as stunning as the front cover! It might be the young buck on the back flap, it might be the really cool faux organizational patch…or could it be le très cool Wailing Loon imprint image? Oh, yeah, I hope the story kicks butt, too. Yeah, the story. Anyway, I’m really not sure which is more stunning-er. You be the judge.

The nifty patch above is courtesy of two friends of mine, Don McCall, who created the patch at my request several years ago, and Lon Kirschner, of Kirschner Caroff Graphic Design & Consulting, my cover artist for ERO. I’ve been dying to use this patch and put it out into the public “eye”—ha, pardon the pun!—ever since Don created it (thanks, Don, for that kick-ass patch—there’s a free, autographed book in it for ya)! Lon had to do some “graphic artist wizardry” to use it on the book, but we also had to change some things cause: 1) NRO stole my motto, and b) had to add some extra “pop” for the cover. Oh, yeah, I do plan on going Cafe Press with it. But that will be a little while. My original motto was “Above and Beyond,” in various versions of Latin, but a fellow writer friend pointed out that NRO (the bastards) already had the phrase. Since they’ve been around a little longer, and are, well, scarier than me, I decided not to fight the issue. I changed the motto to “IN TÉNEBRIS,” which is supposed to translate into “Into the darkness.” I used a couple of Internet translators for this and they seemed to agree, so I hope it’s correct. It better be correct. If it isn’t, don’t tell me and allow me to live in my little Fantasy Land….

And then we have…the rest…of the cover:

ERO Paperback (2013, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)
ERO Paperback (2013, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)

Yeah, that’s me, 26 years ago. As a captain in the U.S. Air Force.

Where the hell does the time go, maaan?

The Air Force and I parted a long time ago, but I thought the picture germane to use for the cover, since the main character is me—I mean, the main character is in the Air Force, in the same timeframe (and, no, Conspiracy Theorists, do not read anything into that—all the weird shit is made up, period; those who deal in real Weird Shit know this, but I don’t need the added grief of some weird shit mythology building up around me as some kind of weird shit guru, cause I’m not—I’m just a writer trying to get by…writing weird shit…). And Lon was cool enough to incorporate Don’s extraordinary efforts of the ERO patch onto the cover. Thanks, again, man. Ever consider consulting?

So, there it is, my friends and kindly readers, the e-book and trade paperback editions of ERO, a story I began back in 2006, based on a weird idea, and helped along by various individuals, including my ex-agent (who I still can’t thank enough), incredible content formatter, Pam Headrick, incredible Cool Cover Dude, Lon Kirschner, and CreateSpace, Smashwords, B&N, Amazon, and all the other outlets and platforms and people out there and are mentioned in my acknowledgments page. I hope you enjoy the read and, if you do, please, talk, tweet, blog, and whatever the hell out of it. Yes, you can use these images—just, please attribute the appropriate people and/or links to their creation. Then could I also ask of you to post reviews of your read when done? Thanks. I’d greatly appreciate it.

See my website (www.fpdorchak.com) for other books.

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