F. P. Dorchak

Speculative Fiction (New Weird) Author

Lon Kirschner

Clowns

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What Makes a Good Clown Go Bad? © F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner, 2016.
What Makes a Good Clown Go Bad? © F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner, 2016.

What makes a good clown go bad?

I had originally intended to release my short story, “Clowns,” for free on my site, here, but got the idea to release it through Amazon’s Kindle Select. I’d read a short story by Bonnie Ramthun, called “The Little Hitchhiker” (a fun read, by the way), and thought, okay, I gotta try this! And I was working on this story at the time and just felt oddly compelled to use it.

Oddly.

So, I rounded up my “usual suspects”: my proofer, Mandy, my formatter, Pam, and my Cover Guy, Lon.

So, now, you’re gonna pay.

Dearly.

Well, 99 cents, anyway.

Click here for “Clowns” KDP Select Link.

This story got such a chuckle from me when I reread it 28 years later—I’d actually forgotten all about it…though not in concept. I mean, I’d thought I’d written a “killer clown” story, but just had never followed up on it to see what I’d actually written. Isn’t it funny how the mind works? Some people can remember everything, while others, well, do not. And I’d written this (and most of the others I’m posting here) a lifetime ago! You’d think since I’d written this stuff…but, as I go back over all my short stories, it appears that I’d just been banging these things out (for good or ill) and flying onto the next idea…apparently forgetting to submit some of them in the freaking “fog of writing”!

And the purple clown that had inspired this story? Gone. I’d had it for the longest time, but must have given it away—

Or it’d walked away.

Some people have an actual fear of clowns (called “coulrophobia“), and after having written this piece, I can see why. “Clowns” is one of my earliest stories, written in 1987, and I had literally not touched it since then. So, for this digital version, I did go over it with fine-toothed blade—I mean comb—and a second set of eyes. And I love it! It is “the decidedly creepy clown story.” When she was done with editing it, Mandy had this to say about it:

“Damn, nasty-ass clowns.“

Yeah, I don’t really get a “fear” of clowns from her….

But, to continue with the weirdness surrounding this story, after Lon had finished the cover (which he said “creeped him out” as he worked on it…) he had this creepy little real-life story to tell me:

“When I was a kid (7 or 8) my father used to take me to the amusement park arcade where they had a dancing Peppy the Clown. You would put in a quarter (or most likely a dime) and music would play. You would then press the buttons and freaking Peppy the Clown would sing and dance. This scared me to death and my father though that this was a real riot.

“Fast forward 20 years. My father is dead. I am antiquing in upstate NY with my girlfriend. We are walking around the store when all of a sudden the hair on the back of my neck stands up and I started to sweat. I turned around and right behind me was a Peppy the Clown for sale.

“I felt him before I saw him.

“I hate him.”

Isn’t that just great?

Clowns….

In the back matter of the KDP Select of “Clowns” there’s a picture of me from my modeling portfolio, back in 1988. I wasn’t going to include a picture in “Clowns’s” release, but my formatter, Pam, included it on her own, and it kinda compliments the story. There’s an irony because though the picture is black and white…I’m actually wearing a purple tux and a purple bow tie.

And because the clown in the story is purple.

Anyway, this is just such a fun story! You’ll think me mad for saying that, perhaps, but wait until you read it….just before going to bed…while you’re in bed…the only light the glow from your e-reader….

I dare you.

You’ll see.

You will.

And so will your clown…sitting over there…on its shelf…

Watching you. With beady little porcelain or fabric eyes.

Plotting.

What makes a good clown go bad?

Don’t know.

They just do.

 

Related Posts

Lon Kirschner Articles:

Lon Kirschner may be contacted at:

Phone: 518/392-3823

E-mail: info@kirschnercaroff.com

Site: http://www.kirschnercaroff.com

Book Cover Site: http://www.lonkirschner.com/

Kirschner Cover Art: In Pinelight, by Thomas Rayfiel

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In Pinelight, by Thomas Rayfiel, Triquarterly (Publisher), 2013
In Pinelight, by Thomas Rayfiel, Triquarterly (Publisher), 2013

When I first saw this cover, I was stunned—stopped in my tracks, much like The Grievers.

I loved this cover!

Much like my discussion of Grace, this cover also brings me back to my life in the Adirondacks of upstate New York. The North Country. If you haven’t guessed it yet, I had a great upbringing. I loved where and when I grew up. Love the wild lands…the brooding mysteries of the dark waters and woods. I spent so much time roaming the woods on my own…hanging out at the lake across the road from our house. Soaking in this cover really brought it all back. Now, the story itself…it’s method of delivery…did not work for me. I wanted it to…because of the cover…because of the subject matter (an upstate NY town that was flooded out)…but simply couldn’t. It simply didn’t work for me.

But…back to the cover…I love the feeling of foreboding…the mystery…the darkness. I love the trees and all their shadows…how trees and shadows and mist-over-water lends toward an implied deep, dark mystery…implied goings-on that are hidden in either-or-both the water and the woods. Again, since I had not finished reading this novel, I can only guess…but it all implies some dark dealings going on in some dark woods…and/or water. Back country secrets….

I can feel the crisp coldness of the water…the resilient bounce of the humus-carpeted forest floor…inhale the heavy scent of the pines. Feel myself weaving in and out between the trees…moving deeper into the mystery forest and snapping off dead branches as I go. Holding the stiff, dead branches in my hands as I trek ever farther into the woods…listening to the distant woodpeckers and the wind….

Yet above it all is the sky with rising ground fog.

Whatever darkness lies below…there is “a light at the end of the tunnel”—or, in this case, “above the trees.”

But in the woods there be secrets.

“Book covers are visceral,” Lon says it best on his book-cover-dedicated website, lonkirschner.com. “A good cover grabs you in an unexpected way,” he goes on to say, and In Pinelight had done just that…much like Grace had also done for me. Some covers you “just like”…they’re eye candy, they’re cute, they’re whatever (in a good way)…and some just immediately get under your skin and into your marrow. And that’s what’s happened in In Pinelight. Lon’s work has a “heart” to it…and maybe it’s because he reads every manuscript for which he creates a cover. Maybe he’s just good.

No “maybe’s” about it!

So, yes, I think In Pinelight has become one of my favorite covers.

What went through Lon’s mind as he worked this cover?

Here are his words:

“Yes, you are correct. This was a difficult book to read because it uses no punctuation or paragraphs. It is the ramblings of a thought process put to words. As you know, I make a commitment to read every book so I can (hopefully) get it right. The author gave me a warning about the quirky style of this book so I was prepared. It was a slow start, you had to get into the rhythm of it. I found myself enjoying it because it was like I was uncovering a mystery. Sometimes you had no clear idea what was going on but then out of nowhere you made a connection. You are the listener to this man’s oral history of his life. It was a strange life with many twists and turns but the constant was the lake and the trees. You would feel their presence on almost every page, it was the natural way to go. The problem was to find an image that had the right sense of place and mystery. I came across an image that felt good but there were things that just were not right. Fortunately we are able to make corrections with the tools we have available to us. The shape of the tree line wasn’t quite right. There were a few disturbing branches and several tall trees sticking too far up above the rest. The trees had to look a little other worldly. This was fixed by pushing the color toward the almost unnatural green. The final element was to enhance the mist coming off the water. These were all relatively simple to do but combined to change a rather ordinary photo into the type of image that can stir up all sorts of emotions and memories as it did with you.

“The final element was the font choice for the title and author. I felt strongly that this had to be extremely simple so it would not compete with the image, the real star of the show. A clean sans serif font solved that problem.

“This publisher had requested to see several concepts. When I did this one I knew the job was done but did the others and submitted all together. To say I was not surprised when the Art Director emailed me with the news that this was the choice is an understatement. One, it made me feel like I really did know what I was doing and two, I knew the Art Director was smart!

“It is actually harder to do a book like this because it is really a mood piece. So much of the work I do is compositing and creating original art that piece together a book in a visual way. This type of cover is much more visceral and relies on pure emotion to get the concept across. Another interesting fact is that you were drawn to the book and wanted to read it but in the end, your enjoyment of it came from the cover and not the text.”

Ha—I like how Lon points out that my enjoyment of the book came from the cover and not the text! This is quite ironic for a writer, because so many authors complain about their covers because they feel the traditional publishing houses have “slapped on” some trite, awful cover to their manuscripts…covers (these authors lament) that have little to do with actual story…or are just plain heinous, with little thought or effort having gone into them….

Thank you, Lon, for your insight! Maybe some later day I’ll again attempt to complete reading this novel…and I’ll definitely check out his other, Time Among The Dead.

Thomas Rayfiel doesn’t appear to have his own website, but here’s his Amazon page.

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Lon Kirschner may be contacted at:

Phone: 518/392-3823

E-mail: info@kirschnercaroff.com

Site: http://www.kirschnercaroff.com

Book Cover Site: http://www.lonkirschner.com/

 

Related Articles:

Kirschner Cover Art: Grace, by Howard Owen (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)

Cover Artist Lon Kirschner Interview (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)

Kirschner Cover Art: Grace, By Howard Owen

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Grace, By Howard Owen. Release Date October 2016, from The Permanent Press
Grace, By Howard Owen. Release Date October 2016, from The Permanent Press

Together with Lon Kirschner—who did my cover art for ERO and Voice—I’m launching a new series of posts that will discuss Lon’s cover art. I first ran into his efforts with The Grievers, a novel by Marc Schuster. Marc’s cover just grabbed me. Long story short, Marc put me in touch with Lon and I’d loved his work so much I’d commissioned him to do two of my covers. So, I thought, hey, why not highlight and discuss some of his work? So this marks the first in series of posts that will do just that. These may be bi-monthly…it may be quarterly…or it just may be whenever Lon and I can get-together to githerdone….

Today’s initial post is for Grace, by Howard Owen, which has an October 2016 release from The Permanent Press.

Originally, I was going to start out with another cover (but don’t worry, I’ll still get to it, and one of them is again another Howard Owen cover!), but as I reviewed the images Lon had sent, this one just jumped out at me. Continually. Maybe it was the key…maybe it was the desiccated wood grain behind it…maybe it was just having come off of Voice and the 1880s house I used as its setting…but it was probably all of it. When I looked at this cover over and over it was like I could actually feel that key…the rough, grainy wood. I have a key very similar to the one in the image from the Lake Clear, NY house I grew up in (that abovementioned late 1880s house served as the setting in Voice and ERO), and the wood in the image reminds me of the barn we had behind our house. How many times I’d run my hand over the barn’s weathered boards…caught a splinter or two…sandpapered it…painted it. Threw snowballs and rocks at it.

In short, it brought up all kinds of ancient memories. Memories that are getting ancienter and ancienter the older and older I get.

And isn’t that the point with cover art—or any artwork, for that matter? To illicit some kind of visceral experience? To trigger…a feeling? Any feeling?

To make us think?

Every time I look to this cover it slams me back to that barn. It’s darkened interior. It’s weathered and worn exterior. When I look at that key it takes me back to that house…to its original condition when we moved into it in the mid-to-late sixties before my dad gutted and reworked it’s interior. I am transported to that place and time…a displaced 1880s in my present time’s mind. I think I have wood splinters in my soul….skeleton keys in my heart. I had a great childhood there. Loved where I grew up. Think about it often. I incorporate so much of it into my work…and didn’t quite realize to what degree until I started publishing my novels over the past couple years….

But, that’s what Lon’s cover for Grace did and does to me.

Where it brought me—for good or ill—and whether or not my story has anything to do with Howard’s story behind that artwork…I don’t know—but, does it matter? If I saw this book on a shelf I’d pick it up and thumb through its pages and drink in its cover (in fact, I know I’d rub my hand over its cover, expecting to feel the wood grain, the metal key…).

Lon and I e-mailed back and forth a little about some of this, and here’s some of his responses:

“I had to smile when I read this [FPD: as in picking this cover as the first to discuss]. Grace is probably my favorite cover of the group and coincidentally, the easiest one to design. The manuscript had that Aha moment when I knew exactly what the cover would look like, it was one of those covers that ‘designed itself’ (referring back to my post on The Permanent Press blog).”

To this Lon also added about how the covers in this series of books:

“…organically morphed into a basically black and white design. When I did the first, I didn’t know it was going to be a series so that first cover is color and a bit more in the scary horror genre.”

The funny thing is Grace is not black and white…though Lon thinks of it as if it is!

Another funny thing is that I actually picked up on the above before Lon answered my question (i.e., that I figured he saw the cover as “black and white” even though it wasn’t; I mean, he could have said, “Yeah, I didn’t mean to write that, but…,” but he didn’t):

Me: Lon…but Grace is not black and white.

Lon: You are correct, Grace is in color but for me it functions as black and white. A dark background with a bright highlight. When I think of this cover, in my mind’s eye it is black and white. Maybe this is subliminal. You do raise an interesting point. I designed the cover and even I think of it as black and white. I guess we can persuade our mind to think of things very differently than what they are in reality. It brings to mind the story of police interviewing eyewitnesses to a crime. While all of the witnesses saw the same event, their stories and recollections can be very different. I didn’t even think twice when I referred to it as black and white.

Interesting isn’t it?

His reasoning is kinda “cousin” to my thoughts in the cover image itself. Our minds both went into tangential directions around the same cover….

And that’s a major point of cover art: to make you pick up a book. Purists (like me) will also say the point of cover art is to also give you something relating to the story, something to “hold” onto about the story within…[most traditional] publishers: they just want to get you to buy the damned thing.

Lon also went on to say that:

“Howard, who is usually fairly reserved, made a point of contacting me to tell me how much he loved the cover and thought it was spot on…has written me the most sincere and warm email about it.”

That—from my experience—is rare! We’re talkin’ tartare rare!

Most authors seem to take issue with their covers. Complain that many publishers “slap” on a cover with little to no thought incorporated. At least in the traditional publishing world. Usually a cover artist at a Big Five would get a brief description of what the book is about, maybe an outline, then they’d have to come up with something. Lon…is a different breed….and The Permanent Press is a different breed of publisher that allows Lon this “luxury”: Lon actually reads all of the manuscripts for the covers he does!

From Martin Shepard’s (head of The Permanent Press) June 17, 2015 blog post, Martin tells how he met Lon. Lon is not an employee of The Permanent Press, but is a “consulting creative director/designer.” This is how Martin remembers meeting Lon (and I do have Martin Shepard’s permission to use the following):

“Back in 1989, I received a flyer from Lon Kirschner and was mesmerized by his book cover designs. As I’ve said in a previous blog, I had my own art background. My beloved father, Mac Shepard, was an artist whose subway sketches are always featured on our catalog covers, while I was an art major at the High School of Music & Art in Manhattan during the late forties and early fifties. I was dazzled by his work, and Lon’s been designing covers for us for over 25 years. What a joy it is to both work with him and see what he comes up with. Any publisher, large or small, looking for a master cover designer would do well to get in touch with him by email.”

And that’s how I feel about Lon’s work: I am mesmerized…dazzled by it!

I am in awe of his work…which is why I’m highlighting him in my blogs. It all started with The Grievers, and it continues today (he did all my bookmarks and Voice book signing posters). In fact Lon told me that my review of The Grievers was the first time his cover art had ever been mentioned in a book review. I found that so hard to believe!

And if you haven’t yet read it, read The Grievers! It’s hilarious and had me laughing out loud so damned hard my mouth hurt. C’mon, Marc, write more funny stuff!

As I get to know Lon more and more through our correspondence these past couple of years, I am coming to find out what an absolutely terrific guy he is. We no longer just talk about writing and cover art or bookmarks and posters; our conversations have morphed into topics such as lawn mowing, trips, and movies. The man always tries to “do right” by his clients, and he’s so easy to work with. And, good God, is he talented. Maybe one day we will finally meet!

But for now, we trade e-mail, anecdotes—

And really cool covers!

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Lon Kirschner may be contacted at:

Telephone: 518/392-3823

E-mail: info@kirschnercaroff.com

Site: http://www.kirschnercaroff.com

Some Books, Cats, and a Gift

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The Bookman Book Signing, Nov 7, 20015
The Bookman Book Signing, Nov 7, 20015

Last weekend I held my first “dedicated” book signing in several years. By that I mean it was “all about me,” not a bunch of us at once, like at MileHiCon. It was weird.

“Hi! Look at me! Buy my books!”

Yeah, a little weird. I’d forgotten about that feeling. So I try to make it about the body of work, not the guy standing around with the stupid grin hoping you’ll come trade some cash for paper….

This was also the first book signing where I’d actively promoted it. Over a month out. All my other book signings had been more off-the-cuff things, maybe one prior one I’d put up a flyer somewhere the week prior…but I’d basically never done much to promote. But as I coordinated with Steffany, The Bookman’s manager, she kept wrestling me to the floor with Facebook. Telling me that she’s had authors do signings without being on Facebook and not selling a thing.

You Drew First Blood! First Customer! The Bookman Signing, Nov 7, 2015.
You Drew First Blood! First Customer! The Bookman Signing, Nov 7, 2015.

So, I had Lon Kirschner do up some really cool posters for me, and we’d put them up all over the West Si-iiide of town. Steffany had a mention or two on local radio. She also had a dedicated clientele…posters put up at all the local library branches.

Facebook, Frank, Facebook.

Arrgh.

I caved.

I’d had an account years ago and killed it. I mean did the “kill shot” that involved them totally getting rid of everything about you like you never even existed, where you e-mailed or wrote a letter to them and they “erased” you.

Very CIA.

So…I returned. And it is kinda fun that I’d reconnected with lots of my writer and non-writer friends I haven’t seen in the few years since. I’d quit a function a couple years ago where I’d normally see all these people, so it was nice reconnecting. So, Steffany’s prodding also had positive “unintended consequences”—thanks, Steffany!

Okay, so Facebook it is. I did the “Event” thing and annoyed my friends with “Come and See Me!” notices. I put up the posters. Handed out bookmarks. Mentioned it everywhere. Know what I found out?

The Bookman Signing, Colorado Springs, Nov 7, 2015
Hi, I’m Running For Office. Do You Have A Baby I Could Hold?

The only thing that brought in people…was Facebook. The ONLY thing.

Sorry, Lon.

Not one person showed up because of any poster I put up. Or the library put up. Or the radio spots.

Facebook.

I can safely say that because of everyone that bought books, only three were people I’d not previously known before…one guy was at the store shopping before the signing officially started, had been in Vietnam, and we “talked military.” He gravitated toward Psychic, my remote viewing conspiracy theory novel. Bought it. The other two were a “friend of The Bookman’s” and her friend. Everyone else were people I knew (okay, one friend brought her sister, who I also did not knooow…but I did know of her…)! And they’d heard of it over

Facebook.

Wow.

Fascinating.

The Bookman Signing, Colorado Springs, Nov 7, 2015
Let’s See…That’s R-o-…no, R-q-…no, R-y-…Dang It, I Need Another Book….

Now, that “friend of The Bookman’s” did say that she was going to go grab one of my posters from one of the storefront windows she’d seen it in, because it was such a cool poster and she wanted one! Thanks, Vanessa (and did you end up getting it?)!

But, all that aside…I was so moved by the support of my friends…and their excitement at coming down and being a part of this! I had so many questions thrown at me! One writer friend actually said she wished I’d had a presentation so she could ask more questions! How sweet, thanks, Ataska!

Afterwards (on Facebook) another joked about how she was observing all “my girlfriends”…and I’d joked, well, aren’t you one? She replied “Why, I certainly am!” But she brought up a point I hadn’t even realized at the time, but most of my friends who showed were female! There were only two dudes at the signing, three if you count Mark, who works at The Bookman.

My Books Are Cat Friendly! The Bookman Signing, Colorado Springs, Nov 7, 2015
My Books Are Cat Friendly! The Bookman Signing, Colorado Springs, Nov 7, 2015

The Bookman has a couple of “resident cats” who roam the place like they own it. Well, they do. And I liked that. I love animals. One of them was quite curious, as you can see in this photo! S/he hung out on the table top there for a few minutes. Sniffing around, checking out “the heads.”

So, as moved as I was by the support of my friends, there was another incident that also really touched me. Apparently, one of my “Virtual Friends,” who interacts with me through blog posts and comments, hadn’t been able to make the signing…but had stopped by the previous day…and dropped off a gift for me. As far as I know we’ve never met at a conference or anything, but we have interacted off-and-on over several years through blog posts. She goes by Kattywampus Books. She’s quite witty and intelligent. I never know what she’s gonna say, or how, but it usually grabs and amuses me. Asks probing and thoughtful questions. Anyway, she had left me “a little something” that literally had me speechless. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before.

The Kattywampus Author Survival Kit™! No Author Should Be Without One!
The Kattywampus Author Survival Kit™! No Author Should Be Without One!

She left me the coolest “Author Appearance Survival Kit.”

I’m just gonna say it: holy shit.

I mean, this took some serious thinking. Took a little out-of-pocket expense…but, more so, it was the thought that went into this. The gesture.

I was really touched by her gift.

That she thought enough of me to do something like that. To go out of her way, create it, then leave it for me. Wow. It still brings a huge smile to my face every time I think about it!

When I opened the case…read the letter…I was, um, verklempt.

I mean (until I finished reading the letter I didn’t know who had left this), who do I know who would do something like this?

Mark and  Steffany must surely have been watching my expressions.

Wow. As much horror and fear that’s instilled in the media about the world…it’s nice and amazing to find that there are people out there who do things like this.

Read Kattywampus’s post…most of that stuff in her post is in my kit. And she’s right! You do need this stuff! As it was, I had brought four pens with me, and with her nifty Fisher Space Pen (and refill!), I effectively had six. She even included a mini-First Aid kit (“Papercuts happen.”)!

But, dang it, now I have to do more book signings just to show this thing off!

So, thank you so much, Kattywampus! That was extremely thoughtful of you! Perhaps one day we shall meet…or if we already know each other and you’re just playing up the whole “mysterious” aspect…well played! I like a little mystery!

Interior of The Kattywampus Author Survival Kit™
Interior of The Kattywampus Author Survival Kit™

So, there it is…my first Only Me book signing in a handful of years…and it was a success. I’d sold the most books I’d ever sold in one sitting (12). Maybe not a lot by other’s standards, but for me, it was awesome! And the important thing for me was that I’d had fun. My accountant might feel otherwise (yes there is that nice little check being deposited), but we’re all happy, even The Bookman—who is now carrying my body of work (Psychic was sold out, but I have ordered more; I’m trying to get more Sleepwalkers, but AuthorHouse is not playing nice). So do feel free to stop on by! I love their bookstore, it’s very cozy and crammed with books. And a couple of cats.

And if you’re an author, and a little lucky…maybe someone will stop by and drop off a really cool Kattywampus Author Survival Kit™ for you!

Related Articles

The Eldredge Not (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)

Voice Book Signing (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)

Voice Delivered (fpdorchak.wordpress.com)

 

Voice Is Released!

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Voice. (© 2015, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)
Voice. (© 2015, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)

Sex, love, and metaphysics. This intense sometimes explicit story is about what people do in the dark…especially when they’re hiding from themselves. A daring, sexy—even inspirational—read that explores relationships both familial and romantic and the tragedies that result from fractures in both. Voice is hard-hitting and unflinching…even uncomfortable…a novel for anyone who’s ever loved more than one.

After 16 years (18 if you count start to finish) and much angst, this novel is finally seeing the light of day! It’s also my longest published novel to date, at over 120,000 words.

Voice—my sexy, visionary fiction—is now available! Is it literary? Visionary? Erotica? Romance?

Truly, it is a little of each. But, whatever it is, it is my most mainstream effort ever. As I’ve said multiple times, I never wrote it, never intended it as erotic fiction. I still don’t even picture the story that way in my head. It is a story about people. It happens to have some explicit sex scenes in it, just like some novels have explicit violence in them. It turns out I actually wrote it as more of a love story: it’s a story about a guy who falls in love with a voice in his head.

That’s it.

I never had the plot nor story outlined…it just came to me as I wrote it. And I honestly did not know how it was going to end until I hit the “.” key after the last word in the manuscript. I do not exaggerate. I remember this vividly: I was banging along on the keyboard, excited how things had unfolded…wrote the last word. Hit the period key. Went to add a next page…and paused.

It was perfect. It surprised me. I ended it right there.

I’ve written a few “apologetic” pieces about the whole “erotica thing,” but…no more apologies.

It is what it is.

Writing Voice did more than expand my writing…it expanded my mind. My understanding of what I feel I’m capable of doing. Voice helped me go to emotional depths I’d never gone to before. At least in my own head. You, the readers, will tell me if I hit the mark or not. But, writing Voice took me down emotional rabbit holes. I found ways to write about the deep, sometimes hidden and painfully emotional details deep within stories. Which is really want I’ve wanted to do and hope I can do again. I’ve always wanted to write powerfully moving stories about the human condition. I didn’t want to just write about aliens or the supernatural. I wanted to write stories that were emotionally kick-ass as well as paranormal. I want to make people cry. Anger them. Excite them. Voice helped me learn how to “go there.” In Psychic I wrote a highly unpleasant rape scene. It was needed, so I did it. I didn’t flinch away from it. That scene’s power and mechanics came from having written Voice. In The Uninvited, I wrote graphic violence. I had to. They were important to the emotional context of the story. The ability to write out those scenes grew out of having worked on Voice.

And the utter irony?

When I finally made my way back to Voice and made that decision to actually follow through and put it out there…all the work I’d done on all my other novels all came back to help in making Voice the absolutely best, the most honest, emotional, and powerfully uncomfortable work I’ve ever created. And I’m proud of it—and I don’t use words like “pride.” If it wasn’t for Voice, none of the other novels would have been as good as they are…and if it wasn’t for the other novels, Voice wouldn’t be as good as it is. Or so I’ve heard from a couple readers (you just can’t trust me…).

And it is a powerful, emotional journey…but, really, that’s up to each of you to determine. I can’t please everyone, as a couple of my reviews show.

Sex, love, and metaphysics. This intense sometimes explicit story is about what people do in the dark…especially when they’re hiding from themselves.

I love this story, the setting. The whole gestalt. ERO and Voice rank as my favorite efforts. I hope you will also get lost in Voice and find the story. I did wonder if a couple of those who proofed and read it would ever talk to me again…and, well, so far they are. So, I have that going for me…which is nice….

Of those who’ve already read it, one reader told me half jokingly she wasn’t sure she could look me in the eyes “just now” when we first talked after her having read it.

That was so cool!

We laughed!

It meant I’d written something that had her look at me differently. And if she looked at me differently…how differently was she also looking at others? The world?

That meant I had expanded someone’s Weltanschauung.

That I had given another a different perspective.

Which is SO cool!

But I hadn’t done this alone!

There were others. Named and unnamed. I can never thank enough those who took a chance on this story—and me—to read it. Those who listened patiently to my conversational angst about should-I-or-shouldn’t-I? In one case, Mandy Pratt, who did the lion’s share of proofing and editing, having spent April to July picking things apart and pointing out misspelled words (dang it!) and messing with my head with shades of meaning—and, oh, let’s not even begin to talk about my own annoying employment of M-dashes and ellipses!

Yes, she kept me honest. Thanks, Mandy!

To Edie, Amy, Karen, Lon, and Joseph—thank you all for taking time out of your life to help out in the various ways you all did! Amy—you read this twice! Amy, an actual editor, read this back in 2002 or 2003…and when I asked if she was up for reading it again, she actually leapt at the chance (okay, maybe not actually launching herself up and into the air, but consider that “artistic license”…)! Karen, for helping me refine my “pitches” (Karen was there at the beginning, waaay back at a writers conference in the late nineties—thank you for sticking with me through all this, Karen!), back cover text, sounding board, et cetera. Joseph Reininger, no longer in the book retail business, was the first to read Voice and, again, waaay back in the 90s, and his reception of it literally stunned me. Never had I ever received such glowing praise (his is the blurb in the front of the novel) for anything I’d written up to that point! And he sold books! Reads tons of them. Wow. Joseph, yes, it’s finally going to see the light of day—thank you for all of your support!

And perhaps the oddest thanks goes to Joelle Yudin.

She was an Associate Editor at HarperCollins from 2000 – 2006. I’d sent a query to a publisher, and the long-and-the-short-of-it was that it had gotten routed to her. She’d read it, and on January 3, 2003, had sent me the following note:

“<Name withheld> passed along your proposal to me for my thoughts. I found the premise to be quite intriguing and so I shared it with my colleagues. Unfortunately, I will be passing, as I could not get them excited about it. I wish you the best of luck with this.”

I looked back in my writing ledger (yes, I have one; I keep track of things like this), and on January 23, 2003, at about 11:20 a.m. MT, I called her.

Yes, actually called her and I actually got her.

I wanted to know why the oligarchy’d passed on it. I do remember she’d been so kind and easy to talk to and didn’t slough me off in the slightest. What I wrote in my ledger was that Joelle said she thought my writing was good, my “voice” (heh-heh, pardon the pun) interesting, but her colleagues thought the manuscript “small,” in that they were unsure if it would “stand up in the market.” That it was “all about the $$$.” That the “size” of the piece wasn’t “large” enough and they recommended a small publisher. Then, at the end of all my notes I’d added: “Very (underlined) nice lady and open and forthcoming. Even said ‘sorry.'”

So, Joelle, I will always remember you and your kindness…your interest in Voice. Thank you for all of it! If I can ever get in contact with you, I’m sending you a gratis copy or two!

So…here it is.

Voice.

Now what??, Mandy had asked. Now what, indeed!

I gotta find something else to work on….

****

Voice is available at Amazon.com (e-book and trade paperback), CreateSpace, Barnesandnoble.com, and Smashwords.com. There will be additional outlets as the distribution “takes.”

If anyone would like a signed paperback, feel free to send this or any other of my work to the following address—WITH THE PROPER POSTAGE OR IT WILL NOT BE RETURNED. I will use any unreturned books as free giveaways. Send to:

F. P. Dorchak, P. O. Box 49393, Colorado Springs, CO 80949.

Related Articles

Voice is Released!

by

Voice. (©2015, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)
Voice. (©2015, F. P. Dorchak and Lon Kirschner)

Sex, love, and metaphysics. This intense sometimes explicit story is about what people do in the dark…especially when they’re hiding from themselves. A daring, sexy—even inspirational—read that explores relationships both familial and romantic and the tragedies that result from fractures in both. Voice is hard-hitting and unflinching…even uncomfortable…a novel for anyone who’s ever loved more than one.

After 16 years (18 if you count start to finish) and much angst, this novel is finally seeing the light of day! It’s also my longest published novel to date, at over 120,000 words.

Voice—my sexy, visionary fiction—is now available! Is it literary? Visionary? Erotica? Romance?

Truly, it is a little of each. But, whatever it is, it is my most mainstream effort ever. As I’ve said multiple times, I never wrote it, never intended it as erotic fiction. I still don’t even picture the story that way in my head. It is a story about people. It happens to have some explicit sex scenes in it, just like some novels have explicit violence in them. It turns out I actually wrote it as more of a love story: it’s a story about a guy who falls in love with a voice in his head.

That’s it.

I never had the plot nor story outlined…it just came to me as I wrote it. And I honestly did not know how it was going to end until I hit the “.” key after the last word in the manuscript. I do not exaggerate. I remember this vividly: I was banging along on the keyboard, excited how things had unfolded…wrote the last word. Hit the period key. Went to add a next page…and paused.

It was perfect. It surprised me. I ended it right there.

I’ve written a few “apologetic” pieces about the whole “erotica thing,” but…no more apologies.

It is what it is.

Writing Voice did more than expand my writing…it expanded my mind. My understanding of what I feel I’m capable of doing. Voice helped me go to emotional depths I’d never gone to before. At least in my own head. You, the readers, will tell me if I hit the mark or not. But, writing Voice took me down emotional rabbit holes. I found ways to write about the deep, sometimes hidden and painfully emotional details deep within stories. Which is really want I’ve wanted to do and hope I can do again. I’ve always wanted to write powerfully moving stories about the human condition. I didn’t want to just write about aliens or the supernatural. I wanted to write stories that were emotionally kick-ass as well as paranormal. I want to make people cry. Anger them. Excite them. Voice helped me learn how to “go there.” In Psychic I wrote a highly unpleasant rape scene. It was needed, so I did it. I didn’t flinch away from it. That scene’s power and mechanics came from having written Voice. In The Uninvited, I wrote graphic violence. I had to. They were important to the emotional context of the story. The ability to write out those scenes grew out of having worked on Voice.

And the utter irony?

When I finally made my way back to Voice and made that decision to actually follow through and put it out there…all the work I’d done on all my other novels all came back to help in making Voice the absolutely best, the most honest, emotional, and powerfully uncomfortable work I’ve ever created. And I’m proud of it—and I don’t use words like “pride.” If it wasn’t for Voice, none of the other novels would have been as good as they are…and if it wasn’t for the other novels, Voice wouldn’t be as good as it is. Or so I’ve heard from a couple readers (you just can’t trust me…).

And it is a powerful, emotional journey…but, really, that’s up to each of you to determine. I can’t please everyone, as a couple of my reviews show.

Sex, love, and metaphysics. This intense sometimes explicit story is about what people do in the dark…especially when they’re hiding from themselves.

I love this story, the setting. The whole gestalt. ERO and Voice rank as my favorite efforts. I hope you will also get lost in Voice and find the story. I did wonder if a couple of those who proofed and read it would ever talk to me again…and, well, so far they are. So, I have that going for me…which is nice….

Of those who’ve already read it, one reader told me half jokingly she wasn’t sure she could look me in the eyes “just now” when we first talked after her having read it.

That was so cool!

We laughed!

It meant I’d written something that had her look at me differently. And if she looked at me differently…how differently was she also looking at others? The world?

That meant I had expanded someone’s Weltanschauung.

That I had given another a different perspective.

Which is SO cool!

But I hadn’t done this alone!

There were others. Named and unnamed. I can never thank enough those who took a chance on this story—and me—to read it. Those who listened patiently to my conversational angst about should-I-or-shouldn’t-I? In one case, Mandy Pratt, who did the lion’s share of proofing and editing, having spent April to July picking things apart and pointing out misspelled words (dang it!) and messing with my head with shades of meaning—and, oh, let’s not even begin to talk about my own annoying employment of M-dashes and ellipses!

Yes, she kept me honest. Thanks, Mandy!

To Edie, Amy, Karen, Lon, and Joseph—thank you all for taking time out of your life to help out in the various ways you all did! Amy—you read this twice! Amy, an actual editor, read this back in 2002 or 2003…and when I asked if she was up for reading it again, she actually leapt at the chance (okay, maybe not actually launching herself up and into the air, but consider that “artistic license”…)! Karen, for helping me refine my “pitches” (Karen was there at the beginning, waaay back at a writers conference in the late nineties—thank you for sticking with me through all this, Karen!), back cover text, sounding board, et cetera. Joseph Reininger, no longer in the book retail business, was the first to read Voice and, again, waaay back in the 90s, and his reception of it literally stunned me. Never had I ever received such glowing praise (his is the blurb in the front of the novel) for anything I’d written up to that point! And he sold books! Reads tons of them. Wow. Joseph, yes, it’s finally going to see the light of day—thank you for all of your support!

And perhaps the oddest thanks goes to Joelle Yudin.

She was an Associate Editor at HarperCollins from 2000 – 2006. I’d sent a query to a publisher, and the long-and-the-short-of-it was that it had gotten routed to her. She’d read it, and on January 3, 2003, had sent me the following note:

“<Name withheld> passed along your proposal to me for my thoughts. I found the premise to be quite intriguing and so I shared it with my colleagues. Unfortunately, I will be passing, as I could not get them excited about it. I wish you the best of luck with this.”

I looked back in my writing ledger (yes, I have one; I keep track of things like this), and on January 23, 2003, at about 11:20 a.m. MT, I called her.

Yes, actually called her and I actually got her.

I wanted to know why the oligarchy’d passed on it. I do remember she’d been so kind and easy to talk to and didn’t slough me off in the slightest. What I wrote in my ledger was that Joelle said she thought my writing was good, my “voice” (heh-heh, pardon the pun) interesting, but her colleagues thought the manuscript “small,” in that they were unsure if it would “stand up in the market.” That it was “all about the $$$.” That the “size” of the piece wasn’t “large” enough and they recommended a small publisher. Then, at the end of all my notes I’d added: “Very (underlined) nice lady and open and forthcoming. Even said ‘sorry.'”

So, Joelle, I will always remember you and your kindness…your interest in Voice. Thank you for all of it! If I can ever get in contact with you, I’m sending you a gratis copy or two!

So…here it is.

Voice.

Now what??, Mandy had asked. Now what, indeed!

I gotta find something else to work on….

****

Voice is available at Amazon.com (e-book and trade paperback), CreateSpace, Barnesandnoble.com, and Smashwords.com. There will be additional outlets as the distribution “takes.”

If anyone would like a signed paperback, feel free to send this or any other of my work to the following address—WITH THE PROPER POSTAGE OR IT WILL NOT BE RETURNED. I will use any unreturned books as free giveaways. Send to:

F. P. Dorchak, P. O. Box 49393, Colorado Springs, CO 80949.

Related Articles